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The Midlife Second Wife ™

~ The Real and True Adventures of Remarriage at Life's Midpoint

The Midlife Second Wife ™

Monthly Archives: November 2011

Your Kindle Can’t Do That

10 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Reading Life

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Amazon Kindle, Books, Reading, Steve Jobs, Twitter

I love my Kindle—its efficiency, its portability, and the way the device instantly transports me—like some digital form of astral projection—into the world of a book simply because I thought of a title and clicked a key. But the love that I have for my Kindle will never surpass my love of books.

I recently tweeted, in essence, that I was cheating on my Kindle by reading Walter Isaacson’s best-selling biography of Steve Jobs in hardcover, which I bought the other day. Using a traditional media format to read about the greatest inventive entrepreneur of the digital age strikes me as an irony if ever there was one.

A slight digression about tweets. I know, I know. You’ve read me blog about them before, comparing them to chocolate. And I’m not recanting. But if you’ll permit me to mix and match my metaphors, I’d like to add that I also find these marvelous digital encapsulations of information akin to the notes that we midlifers used to pass surreptitiously in school. (Like a convert to Catholicism, there’s no zealot quite like a late-adopter.)

This morning, a tweet traveling down the Twitter conveyor belt so captivated me that I had to pass it to my neighbor in the next row by re-tweeting it. (Admittedly, a book cannot do that.) Here is what I discovered when I unfolded the intriguing morsel:

old book smell.
Did you know?

“Lignin, the stuff that prevents all trees from adopting the weeping habit, is a polymer made up of units that are closely related to vanillin. When made into paper and stored for years, it breaks down and smells good. Which is how divine providence has arranged for secondhand bookstores to smell like good quality vanilla absolute, subliminally stoking a hunger for knowledge in all of us.”

—Perfume: The Guide

Isn’t that a fascinating piece of new information? Isn’t that a lovely notion? And it  makes so much sense (intended pun) at every level. Most of us love books because of all that they evoke—past memories, past experiences, past sensual and tactile pleasures.

Have you ever read Pat the Bunny to a child? If not, then try to recall the very first book shipment you ever received, and what it felt like to see your name on the outside label, to open the package, and to hold in your small hands the book that you yourself selected and purchased. My own memory takes me back to St. Mary’s Elementary School in Elyria, Ohio, and the TAB book club. I can still remember those catalogs, and how I would circle each book that I coveted. It was a good day at school when those shipments arrived.

Part of a bookstore’s lure is the way that it feeds all of our senses. I’m thinking especially of an old bookstore, one that deals in rare and used books. The memories that these bookshops elicit, especially the olfactory ones, can be profound. I think that Diane Ackerman was correct to have started off her book, A Natural History of the Senses, with the sense of smell, which she calls “the mute sense.”

Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary, and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the Poconos, when wild blueberry bushes teemed with succulent fruit and the opposite sex was as mysterious as space travel…Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines, hidden under the weedy mass of many years and experiences. Hit a tripwire of smell, and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth.

The aged-paper smells of an old bookshop remind me of my grandmother’s attic, where piles of folded newspapers and books commingled with old sewing patterns and scraps of fabric, and the light streamed in through narrow windows, revealing trumpets of dust motes hovering above the steamer trunks and dress forms. These objects, combined with the properties of physics and memory, are called forth by the scents of mustiness, of age and locked time. Madeleines did it for Proust. For me, it’s a bookstore.

Do you remember your first time visiting a library? I recall walking with my mother down the sandstone sidewalks to the Elyria Public Library’s children’s room. It was located in the basement of a grand old mansion. One had to walk down sandstone steps and hold on to a black iron railing to enter the space. It was a place of mystery for one who had just learned how to read, as impressive as a church, although not quite as intimidating.

Photo courtesy of Elyria Public Library, Elyria, Ohio

Smell, sight, touch, hearing, and taste. I have book memories for all of these. Even for the last one. I’m sitting in the library—I’m in high school now—and I’ve just run my Number 2 pencil through the hand-cranked sharpener that is mounted on the wall. I return to the heavy wooden table, sit down, and begin poring over my notes for a book report, absentmindedly chewing on my freshly-sharpened pencil.

No, a Kindle can’t do that for you.

An exegetical acknowledgement: The original tweet that elicited this post came from blogger Iris Blasi and was re-tweeted, where I discovered it, by the Book Lady of The Book Lady’s Blog. As we crawl further up the conveyor belt, we see that Blasi credits CuriosityCounts (by way of book editor Peter Joseph) for the image, which, ultimately, takes us all to the original source, the book Perfumes: The Guide.

Yes, it always comes back to a book.

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Holiday Candied Pecans

09 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Food for Thought

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Cooking, Food, Holiday Baking, Pecans, recipes

Bah, humbug. The news isn’t good for those of us beginning to plan our holiday menus. The Associated Press reported today that due to drought in parts of the South and high demand from China, the price of pecans is going up. In 2008, the retail price for a pound of pecans was $7; last year it rose to $9, and this year experts are predicting that consumers can expect to pay around $11 per pound. It’s a good thing I still have a stash stored in the freezer, because in our house, a holiday without candied pecans is like a Yuletide without It’s a Wonderful Life.

I typically make candied pecans around Thanksgiving, and this is one of my favorite cooking traditions. They are easy to prepare, they keep beautifully throughout the season if stored in an airtight tin, and they make wonderful hostess gifts if you’ve a round of parties to attend. And while we’re talking about storage, the pecans in my freezer will be just fine. According to New Mexico State University’s Cooperative Extension Service (College of Agriculture and Home Economics), shelled pecan halves will keep from 12 to 24 months if stored below freezing (20- to 30-degrees Fahrenheit).

HOLIDAY CANDIED PECANS

—Makes 6 cups. You can also divide this recipe in half.

6 cups pecan halves
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup sugar, divided*

1. Preheat oven to 250-degrees. Divide pecans in two batches and spread out evenly on two 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pans.

2. In a 4-quart saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. With a wooden spoon or a silicone spatula, stir in the corn syrup and one-half cup of sugar. Stirring constantly, bring to boil over medium heat. Once the candied syrup has reached the boiling point, allow it to boil—without stirring—for five minutes.

3. Pour the hot syrup over the nuts, taking care to stir the batches constantly (and quickly) in order to coat them evenly. (Be careful—the syrup will be hot.) At this point, I find that using a silicone spatula works better than a wooden spoon; the candied syrup doesn’t stick to it as much.

4. Bake in a preheated 250-degree oven for one hour, stirring several times. I stir the trays of pecans at four 15-minute intervals, using my kitchen timer as a reminder.

5. After removing the pans from the oven, sprinkle the pecans with the remaining one-half cup of sugar and toss to coat evenly.

6. Spread the pecans onto sheets of freezer paper (shiny side up) that you’ve set out on your work surface, and add additional amounts of sugar until you’ve nicely separated them into their individual halves and coated them with sugar. You can also perform this step on greased cookie sheets, but I find that the freezer paper eliminates the need for additional butter and works just as well. It also gives you a wider surface area in which to work.

7. Allow the pecan halves to cool, then store them in tightly covered containers.

* Plus additional sugar for coating

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Wherein I Win an Essay Contest and Populate One Blog Post With Several Diverse Celebrities

08 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Humor Me, The Cultured Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Broadway, Coen brothers, Elaine May, Humor, John Turturro, Lloyd Bridges, MarloThomas, Relatively Speaking, Woody Allen

Screenshot of Gina Lollobrigida as Sheba from ...

Image via Wikipedia

First things first. The woman in this picture is not me. I’m talking especially to those of you who know me. Now, for those among you who do not know me and have never seen a picture of me, I will permit you, just this once, to visualize the Midlife Second Wife as resembling, somewhat, this paragon of pulchritude. Except imagine her wearing glasses.

And to those among you who do not know the identity of the woman in the picture, patience. All will be revealed in due time.

Last month I entered an essay contest sponsored by the actress Marlo Thomas on her Facebook page. (Perhaps you’ve heard of her?) Incidentally, the woman in the above picture is not Marlo Thomas. This is Marlo Thomas:

Ms. Thomas is starring in the Broadway hit Relatively Speaking, which is a collection of three one-act comedies, all directed by actor John Turturro (Barton Fink, Quiz Show, The Cradle Will Rock). The plays are Talking Cure, written by filmmaker Ethan Coen (Fargo, The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men); George is Dead, written by actress, screenwriter, and director Elaine May (The Heartbreak Kid, Heaven Can Wait, The Birdcage), and Honeymoon Hotel, written by Woody Allen (Midnight in Paris, Annie Hall, Manhattan). Ms. Thomas stars in George is Dead as Doreen, a woman whose husband has just died. Yes, I said this is a comedy.

Ms. Thomas invited friends of her Facebook page to submit their very best essays about a family member. The essays, she advised, could be funny or poignant, but they had to represent one’s best work. Five winners would be selected, and they each would receive a pair of tickets to see Relatively Speaking.

Yesterday I received an e-mail from Ms. Thomas’ assistant telling me that I was one of the winners.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve received incredibly amazing news and, due to the circumstances, were unable to adequately express your true feelings? I think I pulled a muscle trying to curb my enthusiasm. I was in a meeting with our financial planner at the time, happened to glance at my iPhone while she was looking something up, and saw the e-mail.

I need a new word for thrilled. Also for gobsmacked, jazzed, stoked, excited, happy, and on-cloud-nine.

Here’s the announcement from Ms. Thomas’ Facebook Page. If you click on the link you’ll probably have to scroll down a bit, so to save you the trouble I’ve inserted it here:

Marlo Thomas
I’m so excited to announce the winners of my Relatively Speaking essay contest! Thanks to all who entered. The winners are…. Siobahn Weiss, Anthony Martin, Nina Meditz, Kathleen Marshall, and Marci Rich. We will email you the play vouchers shortly!

John and I are now scrambling to make plans to get to New York. The tickets are valid from today through December 1. Yes. That’s right. Just one more thing to add to my to-do list during National Blog Posting Month.

Marlo (may I call you Marlo?), thank you for choosing my essay. John and I can’t wait to see the play. I hope I’ll have the chance to thank you in person after the performance.

And now, about that woman at the top of the page. She’s a central figure in my essay, so if you can just hold on a moment longer, you will soon know all.

“That Not Lollobrigida!”

Sunday nights meant only one thing when I was a child: a drive to Lorain, Ohio, with my mother and father, to visit my Sicilian grandmother.

Grandma Monia, my mother’s mother, was a widow who lived in the family home with the youngest of her four children, my unmarried Aunt Helen. Grandma spoke very little English; she had arrived at Ellis Island, as did so many immigrants, early in the 20th-century.

An only child, I was the youngest of my cousins. By the time I came along, my grandmother was so hobbled by arthritis and osteoporosis that she was confined to the house, and walked, doubled over, with the help of a cane on wheels. Because of this, her world was small. It contained a window, though: the flickering light of the black and white console television that my aunt had bought with her secretarial salary.

Grandma’s two favorite television programs were broadcast on Sunday evening—the Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan shows. She rarely commented during these broadcasts (and, truth be told, she could not understand much of the dialog), but we knew which guests and segments held her interest. She would smile in approval at the harmonizing Lennon Sisters, for example. She would clap with delight at Topo Gigio’s antics; she certainly knew that he was an Italian mouse, and if she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying to Ed Sullivan, she was nevertheless charmed by his sweetness, especially when Mr. Sullivan “keesed” him goodnight.

Acts that were, in her view, less wholesome (dancers gyrating to the Twist, say, or a tad too much cleavage in a female performer’s costume) would elicit a frown or a shake of her head. She might be at a loss for English, but she was still a critic.

One such evening in her living room, with my parents engaged in conversation with my aunt and me preoccupied with my Barbie doll, we were startled by a most unexpected reaction from her. Ed Sullivan was announcing his guests for the evening, and one name filled her with excitement.

“Lollobrigida! Lollobrigida gonna be on!” she exclaimed.

Now you have to understand something about my grandmother. Italy, and all things Italian, reigned supreme in her estimation, and were surpassed only by the Pope, who was, in those days, Italian, too. All of the food that she prepared was Italian, including the bread that she baked twice each week, despite her arthritis; she regularly mailed dollar bills to an Italian orphanage; she loved Perry Como. She was so biased in favor of her language that she stubbornly refused to learn English, even when her children would beg her: “Ma, please. In English! Say it in English!”

The thought, then, of my grandmother welcoming into her living room the great Gina Lollobrigida, an actress who had brought pride and acclaim to Italy (despite her frequent décolletage, which, for some reason, my grandmother conveniently overlooked), was beyond thrilling. If there had been time, she would have asked Aunt Helen to place an overseas call to the relatives in Palermo, so that she could inform them of the great thing about to happen in America.

So focused were we on Grandma and her reaction that we hardly paid attention to what the estimable host was saying about his guest. We were now, with her, poised for the advent of the glamorous Lollobrigida.

The moment my grandmother had been waiting for had arrived. Ed Sullivan stepped to the microphone and announced:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my next guest with a warm round of applause—the exciting star of Sea Hunt, Lloyd Bridges.”

And out walked a man in a scuba suit, legs splayed, flippers flapping across the stage.

My grandmother, crestfallen and confused, could only exclaim:

“That not Lollobrigida!”

—THE END—

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What Are Your Secrets (to a Happy Relationship)?

07 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Relationships and Family Life

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Advice, BlogHer, Relationships, The Midlife Second Wife

You know, I’m not the only one with opinions around here.

My readers are smart, savvy, funny, and wise. I can tell from the comments they post and the e-mails they send me.

So, for a change of pace, I thought that today it might be fun to let them do some of the work. And by them, I mean you. If you’re reading this on BlogHer, you’re invited to chime in, too!

What are your secrets to a happy relationship?

I’ve created a new page on my site where I’ll be listing your suggestions.

If you prefer to remain anonymous, that’s fine. Or you may simply use your initials (although I’d love to know what state you’re from). If you’d rather shout from the rooftops your secret to a happy, healthy relationship, then please, by all means, include your full name and the state in which you live.

If you have a favorite quote about the topic that you’d like to share, please share that, too! All I ask is that you include the name of the person you’re quoting, and, if you discovered the quote in a book, the name of the book. That way we can all expand our reading list.

It’s easy to participate. Simply share your quote in the comment section at the bottom of this post—either on The Midlife Second Wife’s site or where the post appears on BlogHer. You may also send an e-mail to marci dot keyword at gmail dot com.

That’s it! I look forward to reading your additions to our compendium of wisdom.

Thanks & love,

Marci, aka
TMSW

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Outliers of Out-Loving

06 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Midpoints, Relationships and Family Life, Remarriage

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Divorce, Love, Malcolm Gladwell, Marlo Thomas, Marriage, Relationship, Wendell Berry

The other day I posted an essay about the secrets to a happy marriage, sharing insights gleaned from a Marlo Thomas/Phil Donahue interview on the actress’ Huffington Post site.

Although John and I are nowhere near the 30-year partnership shared by Thomas and Donahue, it occurs to me that I nevertheless learned a fundamental secret to a happy marriage—or relationship—soon after meeting John. I keep these words close to my heart and even closer to my consciousness, because they map an objective I want to reach every day:

I want to out-love him.

John and I both divorced after long first marriages. We know that the statistics for successful second marriages aren’t great. But we are determined that ours be a union that will not only survive, but thrive. The notion of out-loving one another comes from John. He sets the standard. I just try to catch up.

He learned about out-loving from a premarital counseling class he took, ironically, prior to his first marriage. An older couple, married for decades, was advising the neophytes. The man was asked the secret to a happy marriage. He replied:

I can’t and won’t speak for my wife, but I can tell you my secret to a happy marriage: I just try to out-love her.

Wow. Who was this man? And is it too late to harvest his DNA?

Given the grim statistics of divorce in the U.S., it is apparent that not too many partners are trying to out-love their mates. But John shared this anecdote with me soon after we started dating. And boy, does he live up to it.

I call him an outlier of out-loving, to borrow Malcolm Gladwell’s term. An outlier is one who possesses characteristics outside the norm of the majority. The ability to out-love another can seem as rare as a pink diamond.

I sometimes have to remind myself that this is not a competition. Love—and the gestures, kindnesses, and consideration that stem from love—should come naturally, no? And it does, but to a point, and that point is usually when one partner is over-tired, over-worked, or over-stressed. It is human nature for patience to run ragged. It is human nature to become preoccupied and distracted. It is human nature to sometimes lack mindfulness.

It takes mindfulness to out-love one’s partner. Mindfulness of the bond that holds you close, mindfulness of the trust each of you places in the other, mindfulness of the fragility of life.

My objective in finding my soul-mate was to find the one man whose face was the last thing I want to see before taking my last breath. I’m one of the lucky ones; I found him. At our wedding, my friend, the wonderful poet Lynn Powell, read Wendell Berry’s “The Country of Marriage.” Here is an excerpt:

…                              We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.

More than any pink diamond, the gift of John’s love is more precious to me than any possession. I have no idea how many years we will have together, and so I want each day to count. This is especially true, I think, for couples who marry later in life. We are more aware, I think, of our mortality. I therefore want to spend what time we have together out-loving him. Every precious day.

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Sweet Tweets: Of Chocolate and Twitter

05 Saturday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Indulgences

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Candy, Chocolate, Food, Health, Huffington Post, I Love Lucy, NaPloBoMo, Twitter

MorgueFile image

I was thinking about Twitter the other day, and of course that reminded me of chocolate.

You mean it’s not that way for you?

If you’ve ever seen the classic I Love Lucy episode, the one where Lucy and Ethel get a job in a chocolate factory, you’ll know where I’m going with this. The chocolate candies come down the conveyor belt, and the intrepid duo must wrap each piece before it reaches the next stage in the packaging process. Things start out well enough, but the conveyor belt quickly speeds up, and the candies move faster and faster down the line. To Lucy and Ethel’s dismay, many unwrapped chocolates are swiftly making their way past the point of no return. Their martinet of a supervisor will be furious, the girls will lose their jobs, and the only way to avoid catastrophe is to hide the evidence —in their toques, down their uniforms, and in their mouths, as this picture illustrates.

My Twitter feed reminds me of chocolate speeding down a conveyor belt. I want to grab it all (i.e. read each tweet), but it can’t be done. I would have to either monitor my iPhone 24/7, or set other tasks aside to regularly review huge helpings of tweets at one sitting—dipping into a vast candy bowl of information. Other things clamor for my attention. One must sleep and eat. One wants to hug and kiss one’s husband, and otherwise participate in the analog world.

And of course, there’s all the writing and blogging that one must do to meet the November NaBloPoMo challenge.

🙂

So I do the best that I can, assiduously marking the tweets that I want to revisit for closer scrutiny, skimming linked articles with the alacrity of Lucy Ricardo twisting waxed paper on a chocolate, and tweeting or retweeting—lobbing little gifts out into the world that I think you might enjoy.

How do people manage all of this? I’m a late adopter, no question. I’m still learning my way around the Twitterscape. (A blogger called The Late Bloomer Bride wrote one of the best lines I’ve ever read about coming to the party late: “I knew at an early age that I was a late-bloomer.” Good stuff.)

One thing I did adopt early, however, was a love of chocolate. And it was a tweet last month, from the Huffington Post, that gave me the sweetest gift of all: the news that there are health benefits to the rich, dark, decadence that I’ve enjoyed ever since I cut my first tooth.

Huffington Post’s Healthy Living reported on a Swedish study that found a link between high chocolate consumption and a 20-percent decrease in stroke risk among women.

This is not the first report to determine that chocolate, not unlike red wine, can be good for you, and this is not to say we should all make a mad dash to the kids’ Halloween stash as if it were the prescription counter at Walgreen’s. As with all indulgences, moderation is key, especially since chocolate is not a low-calorie, low-fat, low-sugar food item. But if you are thinking of sneaking a bit from their haul, go for the dark chocolate. It’s better for you.

John and I just finished dinner, and will shortly be enjoying chocolate cupcakes for dessert. But if you’re following me on Twitter, you no doubt already know that.

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Secrets of a Successful Marriage: Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue

04 Friday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Relationships and Family Life, Remarriage

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Byron Katie, Huffington Post, Life, Love, MarloThomas, Marriage, Phil Donahue, Remarriage

Marlo Thomas—award-winning actress, author, activist, producer, philanthropist, and social media maven, and Phil Donahue—pioneering television talk-show host, Emmy Award-winner, and writer, put a whole new spin on “meeting cute” when Thomas was a guest on The Phil Donahue Show in 1977. Romantic sparks flew, and wedding bells ensued three years later. It was Thomas’ first marriage and Donahue’s second, effectively making her a midlife second wife. Thirty-one years later, they are still married. What are their secrets for a happy marriage?

Thomas, who has emerged as a formidable presence on the social media scene with a website on the Huffington Post, a Facebook fan page, and more than 19,000 followers on Twitter, recently interviewed her husband for Huff Post’s “Mondays With Marlo.” The premise for the live webcast is brilliant: Several days before a guest is to appear, Thomas invites people to submit questions via her social media sites and then, during the webcast, via a live comment stream. She curates and moderates the questions, presenting them to her guest. To my surprise, she read mine:

Marriage, especially remarriage, represents many things: the renaissance of romantic love, the renewal of hope, the reinvention of each partner. Phil, when you and Marlo got married, how do you think you influenced her reinvention? How did she influence yours?

Charmingly discomfited by this and other personal questions—Donahue is clearly far more comfortable fielding queries about his career, politics, and the Occupy Wall Street movement, for example—he nevertheless attempted a game answer. And Thomas joined in:

Phil: Well, Marlo wants this marriage to succeed. That is very obvious. …It’s really impressive. This is her first marriage, and she’s very proud of that.

Marlo: It’s my last marriage, too. And so how did we reinvent each other? Part of my reinvention was that I wanted to get married to someone. That was new.

Phil: Well, I’ve reinvented. I no longer leave the towel on the floor. I call at night if we’re separated: ‘Hi. You good? Okay.’ That was part of my rehabilitation.

So that’s easy enough to do, wouldn’t you say? Stay connected when apart, and don’t leave the dirty towels on the floor. And I love that Thomas said that her marriage to Donahue is her last marriage. But the secret to a long and happy marriage? That question came from a viewer named Florence. Here’s what they had to say in response:

Phil: Don’t think the worst of your spouse. In other words, I think we go to war not for what is true, but for what we think is true.…Don’t go to war for what you think your spouse is going to do.

Marlo: That’s such good advice, and I have to take it, too.Whenever I think I know exactly what you’re thinking I’m completely wrong. I do think that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

“Don’t think the worst of your spouse.” It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But is it simple to implement?  It is so easy for us to jump to conclusions, or to allow old insecurities and fears to surface, and with them, old ways of interpreting information. Remember the baggage post from last month?

Let’s have someone else weigh in on this.

TIME magazine has called Byron Katie “a spiritual innovator for the new millennium.” A friend told me about her books several years ago. In Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Katie writes:

It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.

Our thinking. Thinking the worst of our spouse. Thinking that can spiral into problems greater than whatever is at hand. Turning that thinking around is the key to a long, happy, and successful marriage. That, staying connected, and not leaving the wet towels on the bathroom floor.

To view Marlo Thomas’ interview with her husband, Phil Donahue—her special guest on “Mondays With Marlo,” click here.

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You Have to Write to Win

03 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Writing Life

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Blog, BlogHer, NaBloPoMo, National Blog Post Month, Social Media, writing

Ummmm….do you remember the other day, when I posted a blog about posting? You know, the one about the National Blog Posting Month [NaBloPoMo] challenge to write and post a blog each day this month? I said something along these lines:

What motivates a person to write? More specifically, what motivates a pressed-for-time blogger to take on such a commitment during the portal month to the holiday season? I’m rather embarrassed to admit it, but in this case there are prizes involved. Now I’m not saying that I can be had for the price of a free book, but there exists a part of me that thrills to the idea of someone calling my name and handing me something. Lottery winnings, for example. And since we all know that’s never going to happen (well … maybe if I started buying them …), this is as close as I’m likely to get to that rush of adrenalin.

Now, I’m not altogether comfortable quoting myself, but in this case there’s no easy way around it. It’s not that I’ve had to eat my words, exactly. No, it seems that the fine folks at BlogHer liked what they read, because they’ve decided to syndicate the post on their site.

Here’s how it was explained to me in an e-mail yesterday:

It means we want to feature it, moving it from the general well of NaBloPoMo posts onto the front page of NaBloPoMo and give it a little extra social media love.

“Extra social media love?” Yes, please! And thank you!

What, exactly, is BlogHer? It’s a community. It’s also a media company. BlogHer was created in 2005 in partnership with women in social media, and, according to the BlogHer website, it is also the largest community of women who blog, with 27 million unique visitors per month. BlogHer hosts conferences—including the world’s largest conference for women in social media—and the BlogHer Publishing Network.

The icon beneath my headline will direct you to the post as it appears on the BlogHer site, under the title “Why We Write Even When We Have No Time.” BlogHer has featured the essay on its home page as well as the site page for NaBloPoMo. The encomium will be followed by a modest check, presented in the spirit that writers should be paid for their work.

Although I’ve been writing for nearly 30 years (51 if you count the time I learned how to write my name), I’ve only been blogging for less than three months. For that reason, being chosen for syndication by BlogHer comes as a surprise, albeit a wonderful one, and I am deeply and truly honored by their validation of my work.

Now you’ll have to excuse me. I’m going out to buy a lottery ticket, because, as I’ve learned, you can’t win if you don’t play. And especially if you don’t write. Although, as Shakespeare reminds us, “the play’s the thing.”

And, I might add, so is the writing.

To the editors at BlogHer, my sincere and joyous thanks!

For more information about BlogHer, please click here.

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Sally Field of Greens

02 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Food for Thought

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Tags

Cooking, Daniel Day-Lewis, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Food, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, recipes, Salads, Sally Field, Steven Spielberg

The stars are out here in Richmond, Virginia, where filming got underway last month for Lincoln, directed and co-produced by Academy Award-winning filmmaker Steven Spielberg. The film, based on Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book Team of Rivals, stars Academy Award winners Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln and Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln. And although I haven’t seen any bold-face names yet, John and I did have a bite to eat last Sunday at Lift Coffee Shop & Café, which features such charming additions to its menu as a HAM-iel Day Lewis sandwich (grilled on sourdough bread with ham, pineapple, and provolone, and topped with honey and barbecue sauce); a delicious BLT—the Joseph Gordon Lettuce—named in honor of actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who portrays Robert Todd Lincoln; and a tasty-looking salad, the Sally Field of Greens. Lift also serves up a wonderful cup of coffee.

My thanks to Stephanie Garnett, manager of Lift, for her generosity in sharing this recipe with The Midlife Second Wife!

For more information about film production in Virginia, please visit the website for the Virginia Film Office.

Sally Field of Greens
Serves 2

1 package field greens or spring mix, washed and dried
3 ounces diced ripe pear (peeled)
2 ounces Craisins
1-1/2 ounces crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
Balsamic vinaigrette
Crumbled Gorgonzola

Fill a salad bowl with the greens. Toss with pear, Craisins, and 1-1/2 ounces of crumbled Gorgonzola. Drizzle with Balsamic vinaigrette and top with additional crumbled Gorgonzola.


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Why We Write Even When We Have No Time

01 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Writing Life

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

blogging, Joan Didion, NaBloPoMo, writing

NaBloPoMo 2011

I’ll tell you. The things you learn when you begin blogging.

November, it appears, is National Blog Posting Month, or, in blogging lingo, NaBloPoMo. Well, at least it is on a site known as BlogHer. For those like me who are new to this wondrous phenomenon, BlogHer is a rich and robust destination on the Web where women who blog (and the men who love them?) can find inspiration, community, and, it appears, nifty badges like the one shown above.

About this badge. I’m going to try and earn its keep on my own blog this month by making an effort to post something every day. Yes, you heard me. Every. Day. This. Month. This is an ambitious undertaking because, as we all know, November in America features that delectable holiday of food and gratitude, Thanksgiving. This is immediately followed by the chaos known to American retail commerce as Black Friday. Oh, and I’m starting two fairly substantial freelance projects in November.

Madness, indeed. Believe it or not, I had planned on writing this week to tell you that I would be curtailing my postings, reducing my output from three to two missives weekly while I turn my attention to my freelance work. Hah!

Did you hear that? We make plans, and God laughs.

What motivates a person to write? More specifically, what motivates a pressed-for-time blogger to take on such a commitment during the portal month to the holiday season? I’m rather embarrassed to admit it, but in this case there are prizes involved. Now I’m not saying that I can be had for the price of a free book, but there exists a part of me that thrills to the idea of someone calling my name and handing me something. Lottery winnings, for example. And since we all know that’s never going to happen (well … maybe if I started buying them …), this is as close as I’m likely to get to that rush of adrenalin.

Oh yes. And there is the matter of the creative process. Each day BlogHer will post a  NaBloPoMo “writing prompt,” a question designed to stoke the imaginative engine. Today the question is:

What is your favourite part about writing?

(Apparently the person who drafted this question is Canadian. Can I hear a huzzah from my readers up in Canada?)

My favorite part about writing, aside from affixing the final period to an essay or article, is the roll-up-your-sleeves hard work of it all. Paradoxically, that’s the part I also love the least. And yet … I love the way that I manage to disappear into the world of whatever it is I’m writing, whether it’s a poem or prose. It’s a world that I am creating and one that I alone am responsible for ordering, so I consider it a grave assignment, even when I’m writing something that I hope will elicit a laugh or a smile.

It is also a world of play. I love to play with language, with words and their sounds, which is probably why I began my writing life as a poet. One of the first college textbooks I ever bought was called Sound and Sense: An Introduction to Poetry. I loved it then, and I love it still. It’s actually to the right of me now, on my bookshelf. I love the fact that editor Laurence Perrine chose to give primacy to the word sound. Sense will come, but later. For me, sound has always been the lure that will bring me ’round to my senses.

I’ve always thought of writing as thinking on paper. To this day, if I want to learn something, I write about it. It used to be that I wrote poems to understand philosophy or history. Or other poems. It’s no surprise, then, that this method would evolve to the point where I am writing a blog to further my education—an education about a life. Mine. And every bit as important as exercising the life of the mind.

Joan Didion, in her 1976 New York Times Magazine essay, “Why I Write,” explains why she stole George Orwell’s title:

Of course I stole the title … from George Orwell. One reason I stole it was that I like the sound of the words: Why I Write. There you have three short unambiguous words that share a sound, and the sound they share is this:

I

I

I

Far be it from me to compare myself to the glorious Joan Didion, but I understand her meaning here. One of the ways in which we differ, though, is the fact that while she views writing as an act of imposing oneself upon other people by the act of saying “I,” I tend to see the act of writing as an imposition of one’s “eye.” I have an eye on the world. (For this reason I have always loved the title of the Christopher Isherwood play, I Am a Camera.)

It makes me happy to observe and explore my subject from various angles—lit by language—and present it to you, my reader. I’m far more comfortable with the “eye” of writing than I am with the “I.” Perhaps this is one reason why it’s taken me until now to make this very real commitment to a writing life.

Writing one post a day might strengthen that commitment. Who knows? We can hope …

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