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~ The Real and True Adventures of Remarriage at Life's Midpoint

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Category Archives: What’s the Buzz?

Women and men, boomers beyond and below, married or single, people love TMSW. Check out the buzz!

Why Does the Death of Philip Seymour Hoffman Sadden Us?

03 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Cultured Life, Transitions, What's the Buzz?

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

celebrity, drug addiction, Philip Seymour Hoffman

MorgueFile image

MorgueFile image

The news alert that came through my smart phone on Sunday shocked me, as it did innumerable others: Academy Award-winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman has died. And like innumerable others, I scoured the Internet for a news source, posted a link on Facebook, and expressed my disbelief and sadness on social networks. The New York Times published a series of Twitter encomiums by fellow actors. Anna Kendrick’s (@AnnaKendrick47) was particularly poignant: “Philip Seymour Hoffman. Unbearably, shockingly, deeply sad. Words fail to describe his life and our loss.”

My own reaction barely warrants a ripple in this tide. Still, I felt compelled to express my sadness, as I feel moved to write this essay. Why? Did I know the man? No.

Or did I?

Bruce Weber, writing in the Times, called Hoffman “perhaps the most ambitious and widely admired American actor of his generation,” a correct assessment, I’d say. He also zeroed in on one of Hoffman’s ineffable gifts as an actor—“his Everyman mien.” In a wildly diverse array of roles, Hoffman embodied each character so completely as to suggest he could be anyone we knew—either in real life, or, in the case of Truman Capote, someone from the pantheon of culture.

As for Hoffman’s complete submersion in the complex soul of that astonishing writer? Who other than he—and this is to take nothing away from Toby Jones’s own splendid performance in the Capote role— could have accomplished that? The voice, the accent, the demeanor, the neurosis.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Take a look at this brief compilation showing some of the characters memorably brought to life by this singular actor.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in a Greenwich Village apartment on Sunday, Feb. 2, a syringe in his arm. Reports indicate he died of an apparent drug overdose.

I cannot speak to the destructive force of drug addiction. No one I have ever known has suffered under that particular curse, and minds more learned than mine will have to weigh in on its insidious power to invade a person’s soul, and the tragic role it played in Hoffman’s life and death. All I know is this: extraordinarily gifted and utterly ordinary people—too many in our society—have been lost to the disease. If Hoffman’s death sparks a meaningful, productive, dialog in our country about drug addiction, then perhaps that’s something. But in the meantime, his family, friends, and colleagues grieve.

His family’s loss is something I can relate to; my father died when I was 13. Is this why I’m so deeply saddened by Hoffman’s sudden, untimely death? Did losing a parent at a vulnerable age condition me to feel losses such as Hoffman’s more deeply?

Or is it the nature of celebrity itself? A movie screen—a thin membrane, really—separates an audience from the larger-than-life inhabitants on the other side. But such is the power of a performer as profoundly talented as Hoffman that he can pierce that barrier, touch our souls, and sear an image into our memory.

And then there’s the fact that film lives forever. Hoffman cannot really be gone, can he? Not when we can log into Netflix, select The Talented Mr. Ripley, and see him right there on the screen of a device we hold in our hands? The intimacy of film, and our ready access to it, is such that we literally carry these performances with us. This is such a gift, and possibly a comfort, but it nevertheless renders an actor as vivid as Hoffman with a familiar quality.

How must that false sense of intimacy feel for a celebrated actor? To know that wherever he goes, whatever he does in his off-screen, off-stage life, he is recognized. Known, but not known. How much of a burden was fame for Hoffman? How much of a burden is it for anyone living a public life?

In trying to answer one question—why am I so saddened by the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman?—I only seem to come up with more questions.

Do we grieve the loss of a man we’ve never met because, like us, he was once anonymous? And, like many of us, he had a dream? And, unlike most of us, he saw that dream realized? Is he our proxy? Those of us who deferred our own dreams, or are waiting to see them come true, feel the icy slap of reality: If we get our heart’s desire, someday it will go away. None of us lives forever. How long, really, might we have to enjoy our dreams made manifest?

The loss of Philip Seymour Hoffman—of anyone in the public eye—is a reminder of our own mortality, writ large.

Or maybe it’s not quite as cosmic as all that. Maybe, for those of us who appreciate art and hold artists in high esteem, it means the end of something great. At the time of his death, Hoffman had three films in varying stages of production—the two-part Mockingjay films from the Hunger Games franchise, and a documentary about autism. It is unclear what his death will mean for their respective releases, but suffice to say that after any of these films come out, we will never again see a new performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

There will be no more, and we will want more.

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Good Day, Sunshine!

16 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Writing Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Blog Awards, blogging, writing

Sunshine-AwardAs a writer and blogger living in Northeast Ohio, where the skies are, shall we say, quite frequently sun-challenged, I was gobsmacked to receive a Sunshine Award from one of my favorite bloggers, Lois Alter Mark over at Midlife at the Oasis. Aside from being a terrific writer, Lois has won some impressive awards—she’s this year’s Blogger Idol, don’cha know?—contributes, like me, to the Huffington Post, and (unlike me) went to Australia with Oprah. She’s also one of the nicest, friendliest, funnest bloggers I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. We crossed paths in real life at BlogHer12, where we both won Voice of the Year awards, and took each other’s photo standing next to our names on the big sign.

Marci Rich, VOTY12 at BlogHer
Lois Alter Mark, VOTY12 at BlogHer

I’m honored to accept the Sunshine Award from Lois, and not just because I think she’s all that and a bag of chips. I’m in some pretty august company here; several of the bloggers Lois selected are among my favorites, and I hope you’ll visit her page to discover some excellent new blogs to add to your reader.

A few responsibilities go along with accepting this award. (Thank God walking a red carpet isn’t one of them, since I’m still in a plaster cast.) First, I must reveal seven random facts about myself. I can’t imagine what you don’t already know about me after more than two years of blogging, but here, in no particular order, goes:

  1. I must start each morning with a mug of hot lemon water, otherwise I get cranky.
  2. I was the Lebanese-Syrian princess in the International Festival Princess Pageant in Lorain, Ohio, in 1974, the year I graduated from high school.
  3. I performed in plays in high school and, after graduating, in local community theater productions. I wore a blond Gibson Girl wig in a production of Eugene O’Neill’s Ah, Wilderness!, but made do with my own hair as Babe in Crimes of the Heart.
  4. I know how to twirl a baton.
  5. I’ve tap-danced on stage. I’ve also sung on stage.
  6. I tried to make roasted chestnuts one Christmas and vowed never to do so again. Have you ever tried to peel a chestnut?
  7. I’m happiest when I’m looking into my husband’s eyes.*

MarciRich_LebanesePrincess*Okay. You have to allow me one gushy item—this did start out as a relationship blog, after all.

But wait. There’s more. I have to answer these seven questions:

If you could go back in time ten years and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?

You have no idea how happy you’re going to be in ten years.

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

Rocky Road, but only if it’s from Mitchell’s in Rocky River, Ohio.

If you were to take me on a date, where would we go and why?


I assume by “you” you mean my husband. (See what I did there?) We would travel to Ireland for him, and Sicily for me, because those are places that hold great meaning for us.

Above all else, what are you afraid of?

Loss.

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Speak, read, and write French fluently, play the cello, and spend at least five hours each day writing.

What has been your favorite age to be and why?

Every year since turning 50, because in spite of cancer and fractures and surgeries, that’s when I really came into my own…and when I found the love of my life.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee.

We’re almost done, dear reader. In fact, I think this is the best part. I get to choose 11 blogs that bring sunshine into my life (but I’m going to take a page out of Lois’s playbook and round it up to an even dozen). Suffice to say that many of the blogs on Lois’s list are among my faves, too, and I’m glad to discover some that I somehow missed before. I hope you’ll take my own list, then, in that spirit. Here, in alphabetical order, we go:

A Boomer’s Life After 50

Alexandra Wrote

Ann’s Rants

Dame Nation

Darryle Pollack: I Never Signed up for This

Dating Dementia

Empty House Full Mind

Grown and Flown

Lavender Luz

Midlife Mixtape

The Boomer Rants

Witty Woman Writing

I could go on and on, but since I can’t, please allow me to tell you that there are many other fine writers and bloggers whose work I admire, and you can catch them at three of my favorite sites: Midlife Boulevard, edited by Sharon Hodor Greenthal and Anne Jenkins Parris, the dynamic WHOA! Network, curated by Darryle Pollack and Lynn Forbes, and last but not least, Huff/Post50, edited by Shelley Emling. It’s been my honor to have appeared on their respective bandwidths, and I look forward to many more collaborations in the years to come.

Now go forth and spread some sunshine of your own. And Lois, thanks again!

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What on Earth Does Malcolm Gladwell Have to do with my Blog?

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Writing Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

bloggers, blogging, Malcolm Gladwell, The Midlife Second Wife, WordPress

WordPress.com’s 2013 annual report for The Midlife Second Wife is chock-full of interesting statistics, including a revealing bit of information about the noted writer Malcolm Gladwell. Intrigued? Click the link below to find out just what the author of The Tipping Point has to do with little old me. (I was surprised, too.)

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 27,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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My Verizon Boomer Voices Farewell Tour

31 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, What's the Buzz?

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Samsung Galaxy Note, technology, Verizon Boomer Voices, Verizon Wireless

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Today is my last day as a member of the Verizon Boomer Voices program. I feel as though I should go out with a song—you know, something by the Verizon Boomer Voices—that great girl group that used to record on the Motorolatown label. (That’s borrowed from a joke I cracked at our dinner in Chicago on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Tower.) Envision 16 midlife bloggers from across the Midwest, dressed in spangley gowns and performing synchronized, rhythmic hand gestures while holding a variety of mobile devices.

Dinner at Coco Pazzo Cafe with some of the Verizon Boomer Voices gang.

Dinner at Coco Pazzo Cafe in Chicago with some of the Verizon Boomer Voices gang. I’m at the far left.

What a ride this was. From those intense training sessions in Chicago at the start of the program in June, to testing the DROID RAZR MAXX HD and the FitBit, to my house party in October, to the finale—my great, big raffle earlier in December—the experience has been extraordinary. I’ve had fun, elbowed my way out of my technology comfort zone, and made a rebellious decision.

In June 2014, when my contract with AT&T ends, I’m jumping over to Verizon Wireless. Why? Because it’s a phenomenal company with great customer service that just happens to have the fastest 4G LTE network around. And although I no longer live in Oberlin, Ohio, I still visit my old college town fairly frequently. AT&T’s service there has always been spotty at best. It will be a relief to enjoy social media with my coffee at the Black River Café!

Verizon Wireless surprised my program colleagues and me in November by sending us each a Samsung Galaxy Note 3 to test. As you might recall, I fractured my foot around that time; I wasn’t in much of a mood, therefore, to go exploring new technology, especially since I was ingesting some powerful pain meds.

BrokenFootNote3Fear not, dear readers. I found a workaround to the dilemma that pleased my husband to no end. I gave him the device as an early Christmas present, and to thank him for being such an incredible tower of strength and support during my time on the injured list.

I think of the Galaxy Note 3 as a phone masquerading as a tablet. John had recently acquired a tablet, but he quickly abandoned it favor of the Note 3.

He’s come a long way since the day I first met him, checking his email on his Blackberry. When that conked out, I gave him an old iPhone of mine to use so he could discover the joys of the touch screen.

Now, after using the Samsung Galaxy Note 3, he’s an Android convert. He likes the Note 3 better than the iPhone, and certainly more than he liked his tablet. “It offers all the advantages of the tablet, but it fits neatly in my hand,” he says.

He finds reading a breeze on the Note 3, since the standard text is, he says, “comfortably sized,” and the retina quality display is “easy on the eyes. Samsung has made the most of the viewing surface.”

He also finds the built-in app that allows him to accept Microsoft Office docs  “very useful.” If the developers really want to send him over the moon, they’ll devise a way for the Note 3 to launch a new MS Office program. A frequent flier, John often works on the plane; this way, he says, he’ll no longer have to bruise the shins of the unlucky passenger seated in front of him while grappling to remove his laptop from his briefcase.

His favorite feature, though, is the snooze button on the alarm.

He does have one minor quibble, and I’ll let him tell you:

The developers have built-in a small quick-view tab that remains on the left of the screen to allow the user to access folders and other frequently used apps. Because it is always there, the small part of the screen that it occupies covers up areas of games that are occasionally important to see. Although this is a nuisance (I have yet to find a help topic that will allow me to hide it), overall I’m very happy with the Note 3 and plan on making it the only companion to my laptop.

For an executive who travels a lot, this is high praise.

I want to thank Verizon Wireless for sending me such a fabulous mobile device, thus solving my Christmas-shopping dilemma at a time when I can barely leave the house. I also want to thank them for inviting me to be part of this incredible program. I’ve learned so much, and made many wonderful new friends. To all of them—and to you, my loyal readers—a very Happy New Year!

From the Verizon Boomer Voices Greatest Hits album…

Do DROIDS Dream of Electric Sheep?

Do Advertisers Care what Boomers Think?

DROID’S RAZR MAXX HD Vs. the iPhone

FitBit Fits the Bill, I’ll Fit in New Dress

Whad’ya Know About Verizon Wireless?

Is it Better to Give than to Receive? Find Out with this Verizon Wireless Raffle.

The First Winner of the Verizon Wireless Raffle …

The Second Winner of the Verizon Wireless Raffle is …

And the Grand Prize Winner of the Verizon Wireless Raffle is …

How I Learned to Stop Worrying (Sort of) and Love the DROID. And yet …

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And the Grand Prize Winner of the Verizon Wireless Drawing is …

20 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Giveaways, Product Reviews, Technology, What's the Buzz?

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

boomers, Ellipsis 7, Jawbone, Mini Jambox, tablets, technology, Verizon Boomer Voices, Verizon Communications, Verizon Wireless

Ellipsis7WinnerWish I had a sound file of a drum roll for this. I’m pleased to announce that the grand prize winner of this week’s Verizon Wireless drawing—the lucky individual who will receive the Verizon Wireless Ellipsis™ 7, is:

Julie Phelps of Massachusetts

Julie, your tablet is on its way to you, along with a SIM card and a few other goodies from Verizon Wireless and me. Not sure it will reach you before Christmas, since there’s a lot of traffic out there what with Santa’s reindeer and his massive fleet of UPS trucks. Nevertheless, you and Patricia Craven (winner of the Mophie Juice Pack Power Station) and Shawna Elkins (winner of the Mini Jambox by JawBone), definitely have something wonderful in store.

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who entered the drawing through the blog, the Midlife Second Wife’s Facebook page, and on Twitter. And a special thanks to Verizon Wireless for being such a phenomenal brand partner for the last six months. My time with them is drawing to a close, but I’ll be back here in a week or so with some closing thoughts on the experience.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

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The Second Winner of the Verizon Wireless Raffle is…

19 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Giveaways, Product Reviews, Technology, What's the Buzz?

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

giveaways, Mophie Juice Pack Powerstation, technology, Verizon Boomer Voices, Verizon Wireless

MophieWinnerLadies and gentlemen, the plot thickens in the exciting cliffhanger known as “Who Won Those Three Amazing Devices?” in the Verizon Wireless raffle. The drawing was held Wednesday, Dec. 18, and I’m delighted to announce that the person who can expect delivery of the Mophie Juice Pack Powerstation is …

Patricia Craven of Connecticut

Congratulations, Patricia! Your prize will be shipped soon, along with a few other goodies from Verizon Wireless and me. Thanks very much for entering the drawing!

Now, for those of you playing along at home, that means there’s one prize left—the The Verizon Wireless Ellipsis™ 7. But you’ll have to check back here tomorrow to find out the winner!

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who entered the drawing! And there were a lot of you!

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

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The First Winner of the Verizon Wireless Raffle…

18 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Giveaways, Product Reviews, Technology, What's the Buzz?

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Baby Boomers, giveaways, Jawbone, MiniJambox™, technology, Verizon Boomer Voices, Verizon Wireless

JawboneWinnerI held the drawing this afternoon to select the winners of three amazing devices from Verizon Wireless. Because I suspect you all love suspense as much as I do, I’m going to announce the prizewinners individually over the next day or so.

This evening, I’m happy to announce that the winner of the MiniJambox™ by Jawbone is …

Shawna Elkins of West Virginia

Congratulations, Shawna! Your prize will be shipped to you soon, along with a few other goodies from Verizon Wireless and yours truly. Thanks so much for entering!

Check back later for news about the other two winners!

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

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Real People Everywhere. But are they Experts?

24 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Current Events, Product Reviews, What's the Buzz?

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

advertising, blogging, Brand Marketing, Martha Stewart

This is a wonderful time to be a real person. Ordinary people—folks just like you and me—are popping up all over the place. You see us in ads for e-readers, Fords, room fresheners, and more. Today’s conventional wisdom, according to AdWeek, suggests that real people make a brand seem “more genuine and authentic.” If you happen to be a real person and possess an opinion, Madison Avenue wants to know what you have to say. Martha Stewart? If the brouhaha in the blogosphere is any indication, maybe not so much.

The domestic diva got herself in the soup for remarks she made in an interview with Stephanie Ruhle of Bloomberg Television. Here’s what Stewart said:

Who are these bloggers? They’re not trained editors at Vogue magazine. I mean, there are bloggers writing recipes that aren’t tested, that aren’t necessarily very good, or are copies of everything that really good editors have created and done. So bloggers create kind of a popularity, but they are not the experts. And we have to understand that. [Emphasis added].

As you can imagine, Stewart ignited quite a firestorm in the blogosphere, especially since many bloggers gauged her comments as hypocritical; Stewart has been a keynote speaker at BlogHer and her publicists actively seek bloggers to help promote her merchandise.

I’ve sat this out until now, but after considering the incident, it does seem to merit some discussion about nuance, authenticity, the nature of expertise, and what bloggers can and shouldn’t do.

Some disclosure is in order. Stewart’s aides have never reached out to me, although as a member of Viewpoints Blogger Reviews Panel and a contributor to its website I have offered my opinion on the Kindle Paperwhite and the KitchenAid Pro Line Dicing Food Processor, among other items. And a publicist for Verizon Wireless invited me to become a member of its Verizon Boomer Voices program, in which I offer my opinion on such mobile devices as the DROID RAZR MAXX HD smart phone and the Fitbit One.

I don’t at all mind that I’ve not been asked to serve as one of Martha Stewart’s brand ambassadors, although, had I been approached, I would have said yes. I have admired Stewart’s aesthetic and contributions to the domestic arts for years. But I find her comments troubling, especially in light of her active recruitment of bloggers. As many bloggers will tell you, our authenticity as real people who use real products gives us enormous credibility. There’s a case to be made for life experience contributing to expertise. It would seem as though that’s what the Martha Stewart brand was looking for.

So what exactly do we mean by the word “expert” anyway?

Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary, defines an expert as one “having special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience.” Let’s deconstruct this a moment, using my blog and one of its sections as an example.

In naming this site “The Midlife Second Wife,” I made two explicit declarations: I have lived a fair number of years and am therefore no spring chicken, and I have married for the second time. I am, at the present moment, 57-years old and have been cooking for at least 35 years. A section on my blog features recipes, many of which are mine and all of which I have prepared. In working with these recipes over the course of a lifetime, it’s fair to say that I have “tested” them. Every recipe I’ve shared on the blog has been wildly popular with my family and friends (trust me, I’m not about to share the occasional flop with you), so it’s safe to assume they are “very good.” In cases where I include recipes from some of my favorite cookbook authors—dishes I also have in my regular cooking rotation—I have asked for, and received, permission to reprint them. I make no claims to be chef, professional cook, or restaurateur; in that sense I am not an expert. But you can take to the bank the fact that I’m an excellent home cook with decades of experience in the kitchen. In that respect, I am an expert.

As for blogging, I bring experience as a published writer and editor to the enterprise. While the Oberlin Conservatory Magazine is hardly Vogue, it is nevertheless a beautiful publication featuring the students, faculty, and alumni of one of the most respected music schools in the United States. I served as its editor for 10 years, from 2001 to 2010. I also majored in English with an emphasis in creative writing at Oberlin College, so I learned a thing or two about what it takes to craft a narrative.

These are my credentials—I know many other bloggers who have résumés with similar bona fides. I present mine here not because this incident is about me, but because I’m a blogger, and the Stewart incident raises the question about what we choose to blog about, what our experience has been, and how we go about the whole enterprise. I’m happy to offer my opinion in areas where I believe I have something worthwhile to contribute, and where I can provide useful and enlightening information in what I hope is an enjoyable read for you. I also tend to agree with Linda Lacina, who posits in Entrepreneur.com that the real battle bloggers might consider waging isn’t necessarily with Martha Stewart, but with shoddy content. That could have been the point Stewart was trying to make, but unfortunately, her remarks painted all bloggers with a push broom-sized brush.

Let me add that I have never—and I promise you that I will never—pass myself off as an expert by adding to the critical literature on figure-skating, cross-bow hunting, parachuting, or hand surgery. What I will do is write, to the best of my ability, about what I know. In cases where I feel compelled to write about what I don’t know, but wonder about (hand surgery, anyone?), I’ll bring in the experts. (I’ve already interviewed a few on Monday Morning Q&A.)

And I promise to edit myself as carefully as I can.

Related articles:

“Martha Stewart Speaks Out: Bloggers are not Experts,” Bloomberg.com

“Note to Bloggers: Fight Bad Content, not Martha Stewart” by Linda Lacina,  Entrepreneur.com

“Whatever, Martha” by Adam Roberts, The Huffington Post

“Does Martha Stewart Owe Food, Lifestyle Bloggers an Apology?” by Rene Lynch, the Los Angeles Times

“Dear Martha Stewart, Here’s What You Should Have Said About Bloggers” by Julie Ross Godar, BlogHer.com

“Martha Stewart Likes Bloggers. I Have Proof.” by Gabrielle Blair, DesignMom.com

“Martha Stewart and the Case of the Not-So-Expert Food Blogger” by Tracy Beckerman, LostinSuburbia.com

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Whad’ya Know About Verizon Wireless?

12 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, Special Events, Technology, What's the Buzz?

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

boomers, FitBit, Michael Feldman, Verizon Wireless

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

I recently hosted a house party as a member of the Verizon Boomer Voices Program. I called it “A Very Verizon Party,” and it featured my own take on Michael Feldman’s Whad’ya Know? quiz show, a program produced by Public Radio International. I’m pleased to report that a very good time was had by all, what with the great food, good fun, and gadgets galore courtesy of the techno-geniuses at Verizon Wireless. I wish all of you could have been there, but there wouldn’t have been enough Chocolate Tea Cake to go around. (Do you like the way I incorporated the black and red Verizon Wireless logo colors into my dessert?)

Voilà! I frosted this with strawberry jam and garnished it accordingly.

Voilà! I frosted this with strawberry jam and garnished it accordingly.

As a reader of this blog, this is your consolation prize: the chance to peer through the looking glass of your screen and glimpse a few highlights from the party. You’re never far from my thoughts, dear readers. Come along and enjoy!

The swag bags were set by the chimney with care...

The swag bags were set by the chimney with care…

...in hopes that Verizon Wireless would soon be there.

…in hopes that Verizon soon would be there.

Look at the great swag nestled in those black and red bags: A water bottle (complete with a nifty ice holder); a phone holder; a stylus that doubles as a pen; a flash drive stocked with detailed information on the devices demonstrated at the party; a list of nearby Verizon Wireless stores and, to go with it, a $50 coupon redeemable with purchase at one of those stores.

And check out the buffet table! In addition to the chocolate tea cake, I served fresh strawberries, an array of cheeses (and crackers), assorted nuts, and a few decadent sweets from Trader Joe’s.

VZWHPpartytable

These are some of the prizes that were up for grabs:VZWHPprizesTo keep things moving along, I held a few old-fashioned drawings. But my guests really loved playing “Whad’ya Know About Verizon Wireless?” They wrote their names on index cards upon their arrival, and I drew two cards for each round of play. I had already downloaded two service bell apps—one for my iPhone and on for the DROID RAZR MAXX HD I’ve been testing for the program. Whoever rang the bell first got to answer the first question (there were five questions in each round).

BellcroppedI wish I had pictures of the contestants playing the game, but here are some of the sample questions. As with Feldman’s program, the questions were painstakingly researched, but the answers were not. (How would you do with these questions?)

I. A FITBIT is:

a)    a device that fits into a horse’s bridle
b)  
a type of healthy, delicious candy that has zero calories
c)   
a item of apparel that will always fit you no matter how much weight you gain
d)  
a device that tracks your calories, activity, and sleep and syncs with your mobile device or laptop

II. TRUE OR FALSE:

            Accessories and devices available through Verizon Wireless will only work with the Android Operating System

III. The slogan or tagline in the old Verizon commercials is:

a)    Rethink Possible
b)  
The Power of a Network
c)   
Can You Hear Me Now?
d)  
Just Do It.

IV. TRUE OR FALSE: The iconic spokesperson for Verizon Wireless, featured in the “Can you hear me now?” commercials, had blond hair and wore a long-sleeved blue shirt.

V. The Verizon Wireless store closest to where we’re having this party is located:

a)    at Westgate Mall
b)  
at Crocker Park
c)   
at Tower City
d)  
at Legacy Village

Here are some pictures of my guests.

VZWHP_Sandy&friend

Oh, Verizon? If you need a mascot may I suggest our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Sandy?



I hope you’ve enjoyed my virtual party! So long for now!

VZWHPmrambassador

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Invited Writer Shut Out from Anti-Bullying Event

20 Friday Sep 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Current Events, The Writing Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

authors, Books, Bullying, Censorship, National Bullying Prevention Month, writing

If your 12- or 13-year-old child or grandchild were being bullied, would you want her to hear a YA author–one who had herself been bullied–speak about hope and survival? Even if she wrote a novel about bullying that had the word “ass” in the title?

Students in the seventh and eighth grade at Cumberland Middle School in Virginia missed out on the chance to hear award-winning author Meg Medina address them at a school-sponsored anti-bullying event–one to which she had been enthusiastically invited–because of the title of her highly praised new novel, Yaqui Delgado Wants to Kick Your Ass (Candlewick Press). The book features bullying as its central theme, and occasionally uses language that Medina–and a bullying expert–say kids use to torment their victims.

2013-09-17-Yaqui.jpg

Medina, of Richmond, was invited in March by the principal of Cumberland Middle School to speak in advance of National Bullying Prevention Month in October. Less than three weeks before the September 17 event, he sent her an email canceling her talk. The reason? Concern over how some members of the community might react to her book’s title. Ironically, September 22 is the start of Banned Book Week sponsored by the American Library Association.

The drumbeat of concern was actually rumbling for a few days. Prior to receiving the principal’s summary cancellation, a school official sent Medina a message, asking — at the principal’s request — that she refrain from mentioning the full title of her book, not use “offensive language,” and not show the book’s cover.

Here is an excerpt from Medina’s response to the school, which she posted on her website’s blog:

For me to come to your school and distance myself from my work feels disrespectful of me as an author, but worse, it feels dishonest in dealing with the students, most especially those who are on the receiving end of harassment that already makes them feel ashamed. If I refuse to even name my book or tell them that the title comes from hearing those awful words firsthand, I would only be adding to that shame. … I believe that one way we adults can help is to acknowledge the reality of what our kids are experiencing…

Medina did suggest a compromise. Perhaps the school could send a letter home to the parents about her upcoming appearance and her books? Parents who would find the material offensive could opt out.

No deal. The door slammed shut after the Labor Day weekend.

When asked if she had intended to read from Yaqui Delgado during her presentation at Cumberland, she says: “I don’t typically read from my books when I do school visits. If anything, I’ll read a page. I speak about writing, and the kinds of books I write — books with strong Latina characters. I tell the kids what my books are, and that I write for all age groups, and then I launch into the focus of the session.”

The title of Yaqui Delgado Wants to Kick Your Ass comes from the novel’s opening line, a message delivered by Yaqui Delgado’s lackey to Piddy Sanchez, the book’s 15-year-old protagonist. Piddy is new at the school. She has no idea who Yaqui Delgado is or why she wants to hurt her. The book, praised in the Washington Post as “richly developed” and “unflinching,” includes a harrowing example of cyber-bullying.

2013-09-17-AuthorMegMedina.jpg

YA Author Meg Medina

The child of Cuban immigrants, Medina grew up in Queens, where for two years, starting in the seventh grade, she endured the trauma of bullying. She calls that time a “fight for my dignity.” It is “the shard of experience” that inspired Yaqui Delgado.

The Issue of Censorship
Acacia O’Connor coördinates the Kids’ Right to Read Project in New York City for the National Coalition Against Censorship and its joint sponsor, the American Booksellers’ Foundation. She says that the NCAC is seeing many instances of censorship of late, particularly with respect to uses of profanity. “We work on a new case about once a week,” she says. “Since August 1st of this year, ten new challenges or issues involving schools and libraries have come to our attention.” O’Connor recently wrote about Medina’s situation on the NCAC blog:

At the heart of [cancellations such as Medina’s] lies the belief that we can clean up the world by erasing the parts some people dislike.

O’Connor says that author Judy Blume, a NCAC board member, brought the Medina-Cumberland County Schools issue to her attention, calling Blume a “guardian angel” to YA authors who are going through these controversies.

“I think it’s regrettable that there has been so much lead-up and enthusiasm surrounding [Medina’s] talk,” says O’Connor, “especially with her expertise and familiarity with the topic of bullying. It’s unfortunate that students won’t be able to hear her wonderful message because of a misunderstanding over the use of a particular … word.”

A Bullying Expert Weighs In
Dr. Dewey Cornell, a forensic clinical psychologist and Bunker Professor of Education in the Curry School of Education at the University of Virginia, is a national expert on bullying. He directs the Youth Violence Project at UVA and serves as a program director of Youth-Nex, the university’s Center to Promote Effective Youth Development. He first met Meg Medina when he was asked to comment on her book as part of a panel for the Virginia Festival of the Book.

“One of the biggest barriers to helping victims of bullying is their reluctance to seek help,” says Cornell–a reluctance born out of fear. “Adults are often blind to the presence of bullying, and our bullying prevention programs often fail to reach students who are in trouble. Medina’s book is a terrific illustration of these problems and has the potential to reach young people who need assistance and otherwise would not receive it.”

Cornell understands that the wording of Medina’s title might be troubling to some parents and teachers, but he hopes that they won’t judge the book by its cover–that they will take the time to read it. “I think [the title] reflects the reality of how many young people speak to one another.” He calls Medina’s book “a good source of insight” for parents and teachers who might not appreciate the way that bullying pervades youth culture, or how limited prevention programs can be.

Praise from Reviewers
In a starred review, Kirkus Reviews called Yaqui Delgado “a nuanced, heart-wrenching and ultimately empowering story about bullying.”

School Library Journal even had a word to say about the book’s cover in its starred review:

Lots of action with a realistic setting, dialogue, relationships, problems, and solutions make this book a winner. The cover–a blue locker with graffiti for the title–will attract reluctant readers. The content will keep them reading to the end and wanting more.

Judging a Book by its Cover
The book’s cover, however, was what Cumberland County school officials were judging. That, and a promotional trailer.

Requests for an interview with Dr. Amy Griffin, Cumberland County Superintendent of Schools, went unanswered. Her only on-the-record comments appear in Richmond Magazine’s blog and a statement that she sent to Richmond television station WRIC, in which Griffin notes concern about the title of Medina’s book and “inappropriate language” used in the promotional trailer.

In the Richmond Magazine blog, Griffin is quoted as saying: “[Medina’s book] really more to me seemed to address high school and inner city.”

One final, tragic note: On September 13, four days before Medina would have given her presentation at Cumberland Middle School, the New York Times reported on yet another bullying-related suicide. Students had relentlessly taunted and cyber-bullied Rebecca Sedwick, urging her to kill herself. She did as they suggested, jumping to her death from a platform at a cement factory. Rebecca was 12 years old. She lived in Lakeland, Florida. She was in middle school, as were her tormentors.

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