December is here, and so time again
For season’s greetings to fine blogger friends.
A new group in town—this is no canard—
Broke ground along Midlife Boulevard.
With style and wit (but no fountain pen),
On bandwidth they ply their acumen.
For editors Mesdames Greenthal and Parris,
I bestow a day off with Bueller, Ferris.
Oh, the places they’ll go! The things they will see!
As they ride alongside that blonde, Shelley Z.
There to help them avoid a hazardous turn
Are Vikki Claflin and Jessica Bern.
May they shop ‘til they drop on Avenue Worth
(Laughing heartily with these ladies of mirth:
Tracy Beckerman, Jane Emaus, Barb Best, Tammy Bleck)
Let’s all end the night at a fun discotheque!
All roads lead to Rome (or New York or Boston),
So let’s give some plane tickets to Karen Austin.
When she arrives she’ll have fun pallin’
With Laurel Regan and Sandra Sallin.
Don’t look now (I said please don’t look)
But huddled together in a quiet nook,
And dining intime in this posh galleria,
Are Lisa Carpenter and Andy Garcia.
Oh my, Grandma! I best be brief
So as not to disturb your aperitif.
Far be it from me to annoy and to pester.
I’ll just go sit by my friend Cathy Chester.
We’ve much shopping to do, anyhow, anyway,
For Princess Rosebud and Judy Rothman Rofé.
Seashells for one, madeleines for the other.
For Risa Nye, a song sung by Usher.
What shall we buy Evelyn Kalinosky?
(And what shall we rhyme? Why, I know! Brioschi!)
May Evelyn never encounter distress.
But instead whirl around in a Furstenberg dress!
Here is my gift for the writer Jane Gassner:
A peck on the check from the actor Ed Asner,
May he star in a screenplay written by Jane,
Produced by our own Kim Jorgensen Gane.
And while we’re back on the subject of actors,
Let us take time to note an important factor:
Before there is acting there must be the word.
Actors are not just seen, they must also be heard.
So for blogger Mary Anne Tuggle Payne,
I’ve ordered a snuggle from Eddie Redmayne.
And a prayer for Barbara Hannah Grufferman,
That she’ll not find herself Waiting for Guffman.
But adieu, Hollywood, because we’ve a lotta
Travelin’ to do with Mindy Klapper Trotta.
We’ll head to Europe, but first to Great Britain
Come along, Rosalind Warren and Helene Cohen Bludman!
At Harrod’s we’ll purchase some brilliant bling
For Felice Shapiro and Shelley Emling.
For Ellen Dolgen, great closets of shoes.
Your usual suspects: Manolos and Choos.)
When dining in London, rare Beef Wellington
For Julie Phelps and Mary Dell Harrington.
In Italy we can’t forget the other Lisas—
Heffernan, Flowers, and Froman—we’ll order you pizzas!
Here’s haute couture from Paris
For Estelle Sobel Erasmus,
And Belgium chocolate, rich and dark,
for our idol, Lois Alter Mark.
P.K. Fields says that our time is now,
So to her a gold Rolex—oh golly! Oh wow!
Oh WHOA! When what do my wondering eyes appear,
Darryle Pollack and Lynn Forbes—they’re here!
They’re here! Their network’s a hit. (Have you seen it?)
Great chatter, great topics. (Proud to have been on it.)
To this dynamic duo we bestow
Two life-size Golden Globes.
Hard to carry around, but hey, what the hay?
YOLO, you know? Or so they say.
For the gentle and kind Lori Lavender Luz,
We’ve booked passage on a Viking River Cruise.
For intrepid traveler Carol Cassara,
An exquisitely jeweled ruby tiara.
And for Judy Krell Freedman and Sheryl Kraft,
A grand yacht apiece, complete with life rafts.
For the writer with the wondrous surname—
Barbara Storey—an inextinguishable flame.
And to she who won’t lean-in—Julie Danis—
I wish joy in her new-found work-and-life balance.
To all of the bloggers and writers called here,
I send you glad tidings and eggnog and cheer!
To those I forgot, I hope you’ll forgive
The poetic lapse in my narrative.
We’ll do this again in two thousand fourteen,
So I’ll see you back here midst the red and the green.
And my readers and followers, you know who you are,
Peace, love, and joy on your own boulevard.
To read the holiday poem from 2012, click here.