WordPress.com’s 2013 annual report for TheMidlife Second Wife is chock-full of interesting statistics, including a revealing bit of information about the noted writer Malcolm Gladwell. Intrigued? Click the link below to find out just what the author of The Tipping Point has to do with little old me. (I was surprised, too.)
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 27,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
The founder of the social media consultancy Digital Royalty has a new book out tomorrow, Oct. 2. On Sunday she was a guest of Melissa Harris-Perry’s on MSNBC, talking with other panelists about the influence of social media on politics, and the change-agent behind the sports and social media phenomenon covered in a Forbes article. And today (winking here) she’s making her second appearance on my blog. What a whirl!
As you know, I met Amy Jo at the BlogHer 12 conference in New York City. And here I must digress to tell you that I felt an immediate bond with her when she shared her experience of finding a lump in her breast the size of a golf ball. As a survivor of thyroid cancer, I’ve become hard-wired to relate on a deeper human level with those who have either had cancer or a cancer scare. As someone I admire once said, we become members of a club no one ever wanted to join. And it’s something of a paradox, because once admitted to the club, you want to remain a member in good standing, if you know what I mean. Amy Jo’s honesty—her fearlessness—in sharing her experience speaks to the very essence of what is so intrinsically valuable about social media: honesty. Being real. Or as Amy says in her book, “showing some skin.”
So I’m sitting in the Pathfinder session, listening to Amy discuss innovation, intention, ideas, influence, and inspiration—and writing as quickly as I can to take down what she is saying: “Coloring outside the lines without crossing the lines.” Sharing the corporate mission statement of Zappos.com CEO Tony Hsieh: “Be real and use your best judgment.” Explaining the value of “Random Acts of Shaqness.” (You must read this book. And yes, she’s referring to Shaquille O’Neal.)
In the midst of my flurried note-taking I had an epiphany: As a blogger, I’m ipso facto on social media. But I wasn’t really on social media. It was quickly becoming apparent that I had much to learn and I’d better get cracking. And that’s why I’m reading her excellent book, and why I want to tell you about it. I think that it’s a game changer for any public persona, corporation, brand, organization, or entity not yet on board with the new rules of the game. For those already using social media to enhance their relevancy, it will provide an entertaining and enlightening overview of where they have been. I suspect even they will learn things they didn’t already know.
On paper (in pixels?) it doesn’t seem as though I’d be such a social media newbie. I began writing content for Web 1.0 back in 1998 on behalf of Oberlin College. I was wired in for the advent of email, and only just slightly behind the curve on Facebook and LinkedIn, although I caught up fairly quickly. I did a bit of blogging and video interviews, and even composed tweets during our 2.0 phase. And yet I hovered there. It wasn’t until starting my own blog in August 2011 that I truly recognized the importance of communicating regularly and with intention across diverse social media platforms. I’m sure one reason is because I’m now working for myself, and so I feel a sense of urgency. But I am also a writer who blogs. And like every other writer who blogs, I want people to read me. How does a blogger find readers? On social media. Duh.
And so I advanced on the board from Facebook and LinkedIn until I reached Twitter. I opened my own account (kind of feeling the way I did when I first opened a checking account); passed “Go,” and in a year attracted more than 400 followers. (This is more than double what I had before the BlogHer conference, which shows you how much I learned in a very short time). These past weeks I’ve slowly begun to build my presence on Pinterest and Google+. This weekend I wrote my bio for Huffington Post and figured out how to upload a video to YouTube and connect it to what you’re reading now. Just today I sent out my first Instagram. (It’s fitting, on many levels, that it was a photo of Amy Jo’s appearance on the Melissa Harris-Perry show.)
@AmyJoMartin discussing social media & politics on @MSNBC’s @MHPerry #TeamRenegades http://instagr.am/p/QNA_tOSDze/ (Amy Jo is on the left.)
When you start a blog, and hope for it to be meaningful and authentic and actually read by people, it soon becomes apparent that it’s not enough just to hit “publish.” Bloggers control their own distribution. Those who take what they do seriously are not just members of the media, they are also the means of the media—the studios and the control rooms and the printing presses and the distribution houses. It’s exhausting, quite frankly—especially if you’re a team of one. Even a renegade team of one. Even a renegade team of one with an awesome husband to help with things like shooting the video you’re about to see.
This is why Amy Jo’s book is important to me. As a team of one, I have to think about economies of scale. If I spend three hours writing a blog post and only 30 people see it, I’ve just poured four minutes of my life for each of those 30 people. If 300 people see it, I’m starting to get some traction and make some impact for the time I’ve invested. If 3,000 people see it, well, you can do the math. The greatest impression one of my post’s has had was last November, when WordPress featured an essay of mine on ‘Freshly Pressed’ and more than 5,000 people read it over a two-day period. That truly felt relevant. That’s what a writer hopes for.
Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying here. Every one of my readers is valuable to me. Whether 30 people visit a post or 3,000—each reader means something to me. Each has invested his or her own time in reading what I had to write. Economies of scale work both ways, after all. That’s why I hope I’m providing interesting, informative, and entertaining content for you.
Time is money, as they say. And I’m as busy as the next person—I also run a business and freelance. So these things inevitably begin to matter, especially if your blog is part of the foundation of your livelihood.
Amy Jo learned something early on about the time factor, and she has shared the anecdote widely—in a TEDx talk, at conferences, and in her book. Her former boss, who wasn’t wild about all of this social media business, challenged her by sliding a sheet of paper across her desk. On it were written three words:
Work. Family. Self.
“Choose,” her boss told her. “You can’t have all three.”
Since Amy ultimately left that employer and formed her own business, I naturally wondered if she ever did have to end up choosing. I asked her about it, and she replied via email:
“Since founding Digital Royalty a few years ago, I have been able to design my own day, whether that means working late at night while on the elliptical machine, or taking a conference call from a mountaintop. Through creating Digital Royalty, and especially Digital Royalty University, I have been able to find my Royal Bliss. That’s what balance is to me. It’s not a perfect equilibrium. It’s finding that sweet spot, where your purpose, passion, and skill collide.”
I love that, don’t you? The “sweet spot where purpose, passion, and skill collide.” That’s what balance is. And now, before this post gets too unbalanced by growing too long, I think it’s time to let everyone know who won a signed galley copy of Amy Jo’s book. Watch this video to find out!
A note about the contest: The winner was drawn from the Facebook fans of The Midlife Second Wife. A drawing held Friday evening, Sept. 28, did not yield a winner because I was unable to reach the person whose name was drawn despite two attempts via Facebook. A subsequent drawing, represented in the above video, was held Sunday afternoon, Sept. 30. Out of fairness to my fans, members of my family were excluded from this drawing. I should also note that I received a signed galley copy of Renegades Write the Rules for the giveaway, as well as a free download for my Kindle. Other than that, I received no compensation to write about the book.
If you would like to like the Midlife Second Wife on Facebook, click the embedded link at the start of this note. You can also follow me on Twitter: @midlife2wife. Thank you for your support!
MorgueFile Photo (Credit: Reto Stöckli, NASA Earth Observatory --NASA Goddard Space Flight Center)
What do bloggers do when they’re not blogging? Do they travel to Antarctica, where Internet connections are spotty? (I’m assuming this is the case. I’ve never been to Antarctica.) Do they assume new identities and start life anew with a clean blackboard slate in the analog world? Do they suffer from blog withdrawal?
In my case, the last statement is true. But there’s a good reason I haven’t been posting.
I’ve been on assignment for the Richmond Times-Dispatch. As a special correspondent for the paper (which is a nice way of saying that I’m a freelancer and therefore not on staff drawing a reliable salary), I’m working on a high-profile feature article. It’s kept me pretty busy, what with research, preparation, and an hour-long interview with my subject last Saturday. I’m now keeping my head down and my fingers on the keyboard, writing and writing. And writing. I expect the article to come out sometime in May, and I’ll post a link on the blog once it’s been published.
In the meantime, I see we’ve now surpassed 18,000 visitors to the Midlife Second Wife. Thanks for reading, y’all!
Finally, a word about something different you might have noticed about the site. There are a couple of banner ads now appearing on the Midlife Second Wife, and here’s why: My blog is part of an exclusive group approved by WordPress to help beta test their new WordAds program. I hope you don’t find the ads too distracting. In fact, I hope you’ll click on them, because if I understand the idea behind AdChoices correctly, this allows you to have a say in the kind of ads you want to see on the web through interest-based advertising.
In the interest of full disclosure (and revealing my self-interest), I earn a little something each time a visitor clicks on an ad on my site. It might not fund a trip to Antarctica, but it could go a long way to helping me fund this blog. And pay the Internet bill.
I’ll be back soon with new articles, new recipes, and—as promised—a link to my article when it comes out. In the meantime, enjoy beautiful weather, wherever you are.
(Want to help me celebrate? Read through to the end of this post to find out how!)
Five months ago today, I hit “publish” on the very first post for The Midlife Second Wife. What a long way we’ve come in such a short time! I thought you might like to hear about some of these developments, and a few new offerings planned for the coming months.
Last night, the blog welcomed its 12,001st visitor to the site. I have to say that this number has me a bit flabbergasted—I had hoped to reach 10,000 visitors after my first year of blogging. If the trend continues, 20,000 readers will have passed through these pages by our one-year anniversary.
Your fellow subscribers now number 273: 133 are following by email or readers, 25 are following the comments, and 115 join us by way of Twitter.
I’m going to add another opportunity today for readers to climb aboard: a site based in Sweden, Bloglovin.com, acts as a sort of storage locker for people who follow a lot of different blogs, organizing them all in one place. I’ll be adding a widget to my site so that Bloglovin’ lovers can share the TMSW love.
TMSW has won two awards from bloggers: the Liebster and the Versatile Blogger Award. In November, TMSW was featured on WordPress’ “Freshly Pressed,” an event that brought more than 5,000 visitors to the site in less than two days. Also in November, the highly respected publishing network BlogHer syndicated one of my posts. Fifty-five of you like me, you really like me, on Facebook, too.
So what’s next? Well, I’ll continue posting two to three times each week. (I also hope to pick a quiet month when my freelance work subsides and do another NaBloPoMo with BlogHer). You’ll see the recipe files getting thicker, and you’ll have more interviews with experts to enjoy. I’ll even begin sprucing the place up a bit. I’ll be asking for your opinion in a few readers’ polls, too.
We now have our 110 charter members of the Midlife Second Wives’ club, and they can expect to hear from me in the weeks ahead. I need to think of an idea for the second-tier membership group, too; if you have any ideas for that, please let me know! I’ll also get to work on our Midlife Second Wives’ Hall of Fame.
And by all means, please send me your ideas for articles, post your comments, and share the articles you like on Facebook.
While we’re on the subject….I have a favor to ask you. It’ll help us all celebrate this five-month milestone!
Close your eyes, think back, and pick out your favorite post from the last five months. Got one? Good. Now, email a link to that post to three of your friends, letting them know about the blog, and invite them to sign up. (This is important: send me a blind copy of your email so that I’ll know where the new subscribers are coming from.) I’ll enter your email in a drawing for a special prize for each new subscriber that comes my way through your efforts.
(I promise it will be useful and tasteful, not like the Leg Lamp “Major Award” that the Old Man received in A Christmas Story.)
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for my blog.
Wasn’t that nice of them?
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed more than 10,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
The turkey was not ready for his close-up. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that the humble bird from our early Christmas with my husband’s sons would, a year later, appear on thousands of computer screens around the world. How’d this happen? Yesterday, the WordPress editor (aka “story wrangler”) plucked this little blog out of obscurity and plopped it onto the site’s “Freshly Pressed” portal—where all good bloggers go to log in. In roughly 27 hours, more than 4,000 people visited The Midlife Second Wife, and 42 new subscribers signed up. The post that generated all of the activity, “Where’s Home for the Holidays When You’re Divorced or Remarried?” attracted 83 comments and 109 “likes” from bloggers. Gosh. I really wish I’d garnished that turkey.
But this post isn’t about our turkey’s less than glamorous visage, and it’s only tangentially about the blog’s 15-minutes of fame. No, this post is about gratitude. The past 27 hours have been wonderfully overwhelming and deeply humbling. So I hope that you won’t mind if I use this essay to express some well-deserved thanks.
To my son, who e-mailed me before all of the hubbub began, to tell me that he loved the post. Matthew, I’m sorry, but I’m about to have an “I’m going to embarrass you moment.” I love and admire you more than words can say.
To my husband, who was the first to comment, who gives me room and space to write, who champions everything that I do, and who—to quote Paul Child, Julia’s husband—”is the butter to my bread and the breath to my life.” John, I love you.
To my stepsons, whom I love more than they might realize, given the brief time we’ve been flung together and the distance that separates us.
To the editors at WordPress for incredible support of a late-blooming blogger.
To all of my friends and family who signed on at the beginning. You are amazing and I love you.
To every new reader of the blog—all of you who subscribed, felt moved enough by the post to give it your much-appreciated thumbs-up, and decided to follow me on Twitter.
To everyone who posted their comments in response to the blog’s message. You have no idea how you have warmed my heart. Many of you wrote to express your own painful experiences about the way divorce has torn your family asunder; many described your own ways of dealing with the holidays; one reminded me—and I hope everyone reading—that it’s not only divorce or remarriage that can shunt holiday traditions sidewise. The wars in which our country has been embroiled have done their own damage—in countless cases irreparable—to the family gathering at the dinner table. One of you wrote to express your poignant wish that you had the right to marry, too. So do I.
To each of you who took the time to post a comment, I promise to reply. It will take me some time to do so, but it’s important to me. You have done me a great honor by your response to my writing.
To all of you reading this, I promise to make every effort to be interesting, honest, and useful in what I post here. Your time is valuable; I don’t want you to feel you are wasting it by reading me.
Finally, there’s just one more thing I want to say before I leave you today.
I’ve yet to share on this blog my love of French films. I bring this up now because there’s a wonderful line in one of my favorites—Red, part of Krzysztof Kieslowski‘s trilogy Three Colors. The character portrayed by Irene Jacob says:
Je me sens quelque chose d’important se passe autour de moi. (Don’t be impressed; I had to look this up on Google Translate.)
“I feel something important is happening around me.”
For the past several weeks, I have felt as though something important were happening around me. (I’ve felt this way before, when John and I fell in love … when my child was first placed in my arms.) It’s an incredibly potent feeling—a feeling of great positivity and light. My Thanksgiving wish for each and every one of you is this: that you experience this feeling at least once in your lives.
Dear Friends and Followers of The Midlife Second Wife,
The site has just welcomed its 1,500th visitor. I can hardly believe how many of you have peeked in the windows at my home-away-from-home on the Web. To date, here’s a by-the-numbers look at TMSW since its August 24, 2011 launch:
38 Blog Subscribers (35 by E-mail, 3 by WordPress)
30 Daily Visitors, Overall Average
All of this has got me quite gobsmacked, you know. Thank you from the bottom of my midlife-but-hopefully-healthy heart for reading and supporting The Midlife Second Wife.
Since we’re online, I can’t really propose a toast (well, I suppose I could, but it wouldn’t be as much fun as it would with us gathered in a room, holding flutes of Champagne). What I can do, however, is this:
I herewith announce the formation of The Midlife Second Wives’ Club. All of you who are now following the blog with your subscription, either by e-mail or as a WordPress blogger, are Charter Members of the club. That’s 38 Charter Members.
The Midlife Second Wives’ Club will be limited to 110 Charter Members. Here’s how I arrived at the number: John was 56 when we got married; I was 54. Add 56 and 54 and you get 110. This means that there is still room for 72 more subscribers to become Charter Members.
As you know, membership has its privileges. I cannot predict where The Midlife Second Wife will take us, but should the day come when TMSW merchandise becomes available, Charter Members will receive discounts. A book deal? Charter Members will receive autographed copies. A film? (Yes, I know. I dream big.) If there’s ever a premiere, Charter Members will receive the full red-carpet treatment.
Why? Because you have been with me from the very beginning. You’re my supporters, my posse, my peeps and tweeps. You deserve some perks!
What, you might ask, must I do to become a Charter Member of The Midlife Second Wives’ Club?
Well, if you’ve already subscribed to the blog by entering your e-mail or blog ID on the left-side of the screen, you’re in! And while we’re on the subject, I want to assure you that WordPress and I have a very strict privacy policy; neither I nor WordPress will ever share your e-mail address with anyone unless required to do so by a court of law. And come on: how likely is that to happen? Right.
So consider this scenario: You’re a Charter Member, but your partner/spouse/best friend is not. You don’t want to attend a movie premiere without him or her, do you? Ask them to join you in subscribing to the blog. (And by subscribing, I mean following. There’s no cost to you.) There’s room for 72 more in the VIP suite, so let them know!
What, you might ask, happens when the 73rd person subscribes to the blog? Are they, and those that follow after, relegated to some dank, subterranean room? You know me. I couldn’t do that. I will devise some secondary level of membership, and a tertiary level, and then whatever level comes after tertiary, to ensure that all followers of The Midlife Second Wife will feel the love. But I cannot in good conscience ignore the first 110. You are, and always will be, my inner circle.
Now go out and encourage your friends and family to follow the blog. And if you’re already liking it on Facebook or following it on Twitter but haven’t signed up here, please do so. I want you at that film premiere!
You’ve subscribed. You’ve liked “The Midlife Second Wife” on Facebook. You’ve shared the blog with your friends and family. Some of you have even commented on these early posts. For this support, I thank you. You are awesome! You are the reason I’m here.
Since August 24, 2011, when TMSW became the new kid on the blogosphere, the site has received 770 views. And no, this doesn’t include my own visits.
😉
Those of you here from the beginning will notice a difference in the layout. I’m now using a beautiful WordPress template called “Chateau.” Rather appropriate, don’t you think? This is, after all, the home of the Midlife Second Wife.
You will also notice a snazzy new logo, courtesy of my immensely talented brother-in-law, Brian Rich. But wait. It gets better. In his off hours, Brian designs and makes jewelry. See this picture of me? Notice the necklace I’m wearing? That’s a Brian Rich creation. The Midlife Second Wife didn’t just gain a husband; she gained a jewelry designer and graphic artist.
Here are a few other new features: on the left you’ll see that some new categories have popped up. “An Open Book” is a place where you can go to learn more about the books mentioned in my posts, or simply see books that have been important to me. Think of this as the library in the Midlife Second Wife’s chateau. “The Blogs of Others” lists sites of other bloggers that I like and want to support. Feel free to check them out sometime. There’s even a place where you can read some of my published articles.
Another new feature allows you to print a post or share it via email or on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, or WordPress’ own “Press This.” You can also indicate if you like a particular entry. You’ll find these options at the end of each individual post. Just click on the post’s headline to get there.
You know that I’m sharing recipes, and you can look for them every Wednesday. But what you don’t know is that I’ve been busy working to further enhance the site. I plan to interview experts on a variety of subjects, and in the coming weeks there will be a new category for you to enjoy—“Monday Morning Q & A.” I’ll be adding sections on health and wellness, money management, relationships, and arts and culture. If there are other topics that you’d like me to explore here, please drop me a line at marci.keyword@gmail.com.
While we’re on the subject of great expectations, I want you to know that my goal is to post new content for you three times each week. I hope you’ll find what I write fun, inspiring, and worth sharing with others. WordPress’ terrific feature—a community for bloggers called “The Daily Post”—will help me meet this goal. It’s a place where I can ask for help when I need it and encourage other bloggers when I can.
If you’re already reading my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.
The Midlife Second Wife ™ 