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The Midlife Second Wife ™

~ The Real and True Adventures of Remarriage at Life's Midpoint

The Midlife Second Wife ™

Monthly Archives: November 2012

You Can Take the Girl Out of Ohio …

29 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Transitions

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Life, moving, Ohio

Map of Ohio

Map of Ohio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

… but you can’t take the girl out of Ohio.

That’s right, folks. After nearly two-and-a-half wonderful years in Richmond, Virginia, my husband and I are returning to the Great State of Ohio—the land where we met and fell in love. The transition has already begun; John has started a terrific new job in the Cleveland/Akron area, and I’m managing operations down here until our townhouse sells and we find a new place to call home. Watch this space for exciting news about house-hunting! house-selling! packing! moving! driving across several states with a dog and a cat in tow! grappling with colder temperatures and honest-to-gosh winters with snow!

Do you have any great moving stories to share? Any great advice? (Any horror stories?) I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below, and you’ll be entered for a special drawing.

Talk to you soon!

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TMSW a “Great Blog,” Says Huffington Post

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Special Events, The Writing Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

Blog, blogging, Facebook, Huffington Post, HuffPost, Midlife Second Wife, writing

So happy to see that my friend Judy Krell Freedman, pictured above, made the list with me!

There was no phone call. There was no email notification. There was only me, taking a brain vacation to scroll through the Top 100 Tweets about Liz & Dick on my iPhone while cooking dinner. Then, at the top of the phone, a Facebook alert appeared: one of my blogging colleagues had mentioned me in a post. A moment later, a second alert, from another colleague, arrived. And then several more, in rapid succession. I noticed the word “congrats” was being bandied about.

What was going on?

I interrupted my mindless stroll through the snark about Lindsay Lohan to check Facebook, where I found this news:

The Huffington Post has named “The Midlife Second Wife”  one of seven “great blogs” for post-50 women.

Crikey! Dinner was in danger of being burnt.

I don’t know how this happens, especially with so many excellent writers—many of whom I admire—blogging for the post-50 set. I count quite a lot of them among my friends. You can find some of them on my blogroll, and I encourage you to visit any of them the next time you’re here.

What I do know is that I’m humbled by this honor—and recognition by the Huffington Post is an honor. HuffPost, after all, is the first commercially-run digital media outlet to win a Pulitzer Prize for national reporting. Pulitzers aside, I imagine this recognition must be what it feels like to win a MacArthur fellowship—you know, those “genius” grants where you’ve no idea you’ve even been nominated, but one day you receive a phone call that changes your life.

Yes. This feels that big to me. And once again, dear readers, I must share this with you. Thank you for joining me on this adventure!

My thanks also go out to those at the Huffington Post who are responsible for giving the Midlife Second Wife the surprise of her life. I’ll work very hard to ensure that I’ve earned your recognition.

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From My Home to Yours, Happy Thanksgiving

21 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Relationships and Family Life, Special Events, Transitions, What's the Buzz?

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

blogs, Family, Life, Thanksgiving

English: Saying grace before carving the turke...

English: Saying grace before carving the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner in the home of Earle Landis in Neffsville, Pennsylvania (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Quite a lot has happened on the home front of late—so much, in fact, that I haven’t had a chance to fully process it all, let alone write about it. But on this Thanksgiving Eve, the most important thing I can share with you right now is to tell you that I’m keenly aware of all that I have to be thankful for this year—my husband’s love and the health of my family foremost. I’m writing this from the home I carry with me in my heart, rather than from our physical home. We’ve traveled again this year—to Ohio again this year—and I’ll have more to share with you about that at a later time. For now, I just want to add one more item to the list of things I’m grateful for: Your readership and support. Knowing that you are there, at the other end of the line, as it were, fills me with joy. Because of you, this little blog has grown beyond my wildest imaginings. A Thanksgiving post that I shared with you last year on this site appears today on Better After 50, a weekly online magazine, curated by Felice Shapiro, that was featured in the Boston Globe last month. So thank you, dear readers. Your support, your visits to this site, make a difference. I wish you and your loved ones a very happy, healthy Thanksgiving.

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Viewpoints Product Review: The Kindle Paperwhite

14 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, What's the Buzz?

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

AmazonKindle, Books, Consumer Electronics, Kindle Paperwhite, product reviews, Reading, Viewpoints

What happens when you invite seven women bloggers from diverse areas of the United States to discuss the merits of Amazon’s new Kindle Paperwhite? I mean really discuss—together as a group—despite their geographic limitations?

Here’s what happens. Take a look:

This video of the Viewpoints Blogger Review Panel represents our first-ever Google Hangout chat, which took place on Tuesday, November 13, 2012. Carol Fowler, vice president of content for Viewpoints, moderated our discussion and recorded it live, as it happened. You’ll see and hear us address such aspects of the Paperwhite as its battery life and overall durability, the touch screen and its readability—even the colossal Amazon library. It will probably take you about 35 minutes to watch the video, so feel free to come back later if you’re short on time.

If you prefer your opinions in written form, I wrote a review of Amazon’s new Kindle Paperwhite for the Viewpoints website, as did my colleagues on the panel. You can read it here, if you like. I’ll even provide you with a teaser from my review:

Reading with the Paperwhite is, I imagine, like driving James Bond’s Aston Martin DB5, had it been manufactured five minutes ago: smooth, sleek, and with all the latest gadgetry. Reading with my old Kindle is like driving the first car I ever owned: my grandfather’s 1964 Chevrolet Biscayne. No power steering, no power brakes, no power anything really except for a gigantic motor.

The differences are that substantial.

As you might have gathered, I own a Kindle Keyboard—John bought it for me for Christmas two years ago—and last year I wrote a post about the experience of reading books versus the Kindle. If you’d like a side of context to go along with this review, please feel free to check out that earlier entry. I’ll be glad to wait for you.

You’re back? Okay. Good. Now before I give you my rating, I’d like to highlight one aspect of the Paperwhite that impressed me so much that I’ve illustrated it here with a graphic. It’s the social media sharing function—an incredibly cool feature that the Kindle Keyboard apparently has as well,  but I never noticed it and therefore never used it.

Say you’re reading and a wonderful quote or passage just begs to be passed along to your friends. I experienced this many times while reading Arianna Huffington’s On Becoming Fearless: In Love, Work, and Life. I dragged my finger across the Paperwhite’s touch screen to highlight the text I wanted to share, synced up with my Facebook account, and voilà!

Take a look:

You can see the three quotes I shared on my Facebook page by clicking to enlarge this screen grab. What do you think? By all means, join the conversation by leaving a comment below!

Okay. Enough preamble. You’re busy. Maybe you’re one of those cut-to-the-chase kind of people and you just want to know whether or not I recommend the thing already. Okay. I’ll tell you.

I give it five gold rings.



One of the ways in which Viewpoints ensures the honest and impartiality of our reviews is to require us to donate the products that we test. I’ll be donating the Kindle Paperwhite to the Richmond Public Library.

Now before you go I have one small favor to ask you. if you do plan on buying a Kindle Paperwhite as a gift this holiday season, and I think that’s a fine idea, please also stop by your local bookstore and pick up a book or three. I say this to you as a bibliophile, as a reader, and as a writer—credentials I hope I’ve established during the time you’ve spent with me here. And tell your bookstore owner that The Midlife Second Wife sent you. Thanks! Happy holiday shopping!

Related Articles:

Test-Driving the New Kindle Paperwhite

Kindle Paperwhite: ‘The Viewpoints Blogger Reviews Panel’ Test

TMSW Partners with Viewpoints to Test Consumer Products

Top Female Bloggers Join Viewpoints Review Panel to Test Consumer Products

Your Kindle Can’t Do That

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There’s Something About Mary: Sally Field Becomes Mrs. Lincoln

11 Sunday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Cultured Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Abraham Lincoln, Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln, Mary Todd Lincoln, movies, Sally Field, Steven Spielberg

Photo and trailer courtesy of DreamWorks II

Sally Field very nearly lost the role of Mary Todd Lincoln, even though Steven Spielberg, the Academy Award-winning director of Lincoln, had already offered her the part in 2005. During a recent telephone interview, she told me how she fought to hold on to a role that could well earn her a third Academy Award—and how two-time Academy Award-winning actor Daniel Day-Lewis, who plays Abraham Lincoln, helped. My article about this astonishingly gifted actress, and her role in the epic bio-pic that is being called “Oscar-bait incarnate” (The Hollywood Reporter), appears in the November 11, 2012, edition of the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

“Mary Todd Lincoln was a feisty little thing,” she says. Listening to Field discuss America’s 16th First Lady—and her approach to playing her—reminded me of another real-life character she once portrayed—union organizer Crystal Lee Jordan, more commonly known as Norma Rae.

That role earned Field her first Best Actress Oscar, and is one of the “steel magnolia” parts blooming at the centerpiece of her career. Mary Todd Lincoln takes her place alongside Edna Spalding (Places in the Heart, and a second Oscar win), M’Lynn Eatonton (Steel Magnolias) and Mrs. Gump (Forrest Gump).

At 66, Field is steeped in the methodologies of Lee Strasberg and the Actors Studio, employing those processes throughout most of her decades-long career. She called upon her craft as a Method actress, prodigious research, and “every bit of life that I know” to bring Mary Todd Lincoln to the screen. She adds that the work of the “brilliant” costume designer Joanna Johnston also contributed, as did her own physical transformation—Field gained 25 pounds for the role.

Watch the trailer for a glimpse of the majesty and moving humanity of this film, and to see a great actress at work.

Lincoln was filmed on location in Richmond and Petersburg, Virginia, last year.

RELATED ARTICLES:

“Sally Field Talks About Becoming Mrs. Lincoln”

“Sally Field: How Her Pluck Won Her Role in Lincoln”

“‘Lincoln’ New York Film Fest Screening Turns Oscar Race Upside-Down (Analysis)”

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The Huffington Post Features the Midlife Second Wife

09 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Midpoints, The Writing Life, What's the Buzz?

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Baby Boomers, Facebook, Huffington Post, HuffPost, Life, midlife, Wisdom, Women

What a week this has been! You might recall that on Monday, I posted an essay called “To Marci, On Your 20th Birthday,” which I wrote as part of a “blog hop” sponsored by Generation Fabulous, an amazing Facebook group to which I’m honored to belong. (We lovingly call it GenFab.) If you haven’t had a chance to read that post yet, please do, and please check out the posts by my GenFab compatriots. There’s a lot of collected wisdom there, and it seems that the Huffington Post agrees. Three Huffington Post sections—HuffPost Women, HuffPost50, and HuffPost Healthy Living—as well as HuffPostLiving’s Facebook page, featured 14 of us in an article about our blog hop. (You can find my quote on the second panel of the Huffington Post slideshow.)

My deepest thanks to the GenFab troika: Chloe Jeffreys of “The Chloe Chronicles,” Sharon Greenthal, who writes “Empty Nest, Full Mind,” and Anne Parris, the voice behind “Not A Supermom.”

The question—”What Advice Would You Give Your 20-Year-old Self?”—is really striking a chord with readers: people all over are sharing and commenting. I’d love to give readers of “The Midlife Second Wife” a chance to weigh in on the topic. So tell me:

What would you say to your 20-year-old self?

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To Marci, On Your 20th Birthday

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Writing Life, Transitions

≈ 50 Comments

Tags

Adrienne Rich, Life, Poetry, writing

Nothing but myself?….My selves.
After so long, this answer.
As if I had always known
I steer the boat in, simply.

— from “Integrity” by Adrienne Rich

Marci, you don’t know me. I’m your 56-year-old self. Or maybe you do know me a little—after all, we’re part of the same person.

There’s so much I wish I could tell you on this, your 20th birthday. I wish I could prepare you for what’s to come. Actually, perhaps you don’t need my help; in retrospect, I—I mean we—handled some of the difficult things quite well. Interestingly, it was often the little things that tripped us up.

Right now you are at cross-purposes with yourself. You are working full-time as a legal secretary when so many others from high school are away at college. In fact, you are working too hard; you’re also putting in a lot of part-time hours at Casual Corner, that new retail store at the mall. I know, I know—the 20% discount is wonderful. And once a fashionista, always a fashionista. But I wish you were in a position to take an extra night class at the community college, instead of working two jobs. I know you need the money; you’re helping our mother, with whom you still live—often at each other’s throats.

It will take you many years to understand why she was so fearful and distrustful of life, and why her fears influenced many of the decisions we would make. Her life will be instructive, though: it will teach you what the poet Adrienne Rich will, in just a few years, call a “wild patience.” You must trust me on this.

You haven’t discovered Adrienne Rich yet, but you will. In fact, I’d advise you to seek her out now—don’t wait until you’re at Oberlin College. Yes, you’ll get there. It will take a while, but you’ll do it.

Right now you’re taking two classes—one in English composition, the other in journalism. You think you want to be a writer. You should hold on more tightly to this dream. I know that if I encourage you to change even the smallest thing about your life—to decide just one thing differently—the course of our lives will change. I’m not sure I want you to do that, because I’m coming from a very good place. There has been more sweet than sour in our lives—it has been a good life. No, what I would like you to do is believe in yourself more.

I remember how your thinking used to go:

Fulfilling, exciting careers are for other people, not for me. It’s useless to dream that I’ll be something more than I am, or do something bigger with my life; I’m destined to live in this town forever.

Marci, if you only knew. Please don’t dismiss your dream. Hold on to it. I cannot lie to you: although your dream will indeed be deferred, your “wild patience” will take you far; it will inspire you to pursue your dream again. You will finish college. You will write. You will also marry, and become a mother to a wonderful baby boy.

You will not remain married, but you will discover a strength you didn’t believe you had by living on your own for the first time in your life. You will have a career you never thought possible. You will meet a new man, fall in love, and marry again.

I don’t know if I should tell you any more—I especially don’t know if I should tell you about the bad things that will happen—the sour that seems to always accompany the sweet. Let me just go back to that idea of a wild patience: it will give you strength. It will fill you with passion and resolve. It will be your salvation.

And don’t worry: I’ll be in the boat with you. We’ll steer it in to shore together.

NOTES: The idea of writing to my 20-year-old self came from Chloe of the Mountain, founder of a wonderful blogging network to which I belong called “Generation Fabulous”  (GenFab for short). Today, GenFab started something known as a “blog hop.” We’re all writing to our younger selves and sharing the collective wisdom. You can read the other posts on this topic by clicking this link.

Marci Rich is not related to the late poet Adrienne Rich.

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