Tag Archives: Anniversaries

The Light Shines On: Our Second Wedding Anniversary

12 Sunday Aug 2012

Posted by in Love, Midpoints, Relationships and Family Life, Remarriage, Second Weddings, Special Events

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

"The Midlife Second Wife" "weddings" "relationships" "ceremonies"

Marci, aka The Midlife Second Wife, with John on their wedding day. Photo credit: Roger Mastroianni

Where does the time go? It seems only yesterday when I received an “interest” notification via Match.com from “arts&sportslvr,” and here we are, about to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. (Those keeping careful notes will want to know, for the record, that our nuptials took place on August 14, 2010.)

So much has happened in two short, swift years. We moved to another part of the country and set down roots by buying a home. (I also started this blog, which celebrates its first anniversary later this month.) We continue to grow together and learn together and hold each other close when buffeted by life’s vicissitudes. We embrace one another’s neuroses. (Thank you, Wendy Swallow.) We celebrate every triumph, no matter how small. We listen to each other. We support one another. We are a duo, a couple, a unit, a team. We are each other’s best friend.

Do you see the flames in the separate candles we are holding? We are about to create one unified, eternal flame. It still burns strong and bright, despite a few clouds, despite some wind and rain. When we decided to get married, we knew there would be challenges to face—how could there not be? We were each of us starting over, from scratch, midway through our lives. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed so dim, so seemingly light-years away, that we simply had to trust that it was there. It is there. It flickers, sometimes brightly, sometimes with just a pale fire. It is, in the words of our wedding poem (Wendell Berry’s “The Country of Marriage”):

a pattern
made in the light for the light to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in.

We are nothing if not brave. What else can we be? We are human and we live in this world and we have faith. And we are together, thank God.

On what will be our second wedding anniversary—and on every day of our lives together—I say to “arts&sportslvr:” Thank you for joining your candle to mine, and mine to yours.

I love you.

On This Day in History …

14 Thursday Jun 2012

Posted by in Relationships and Family Life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

On this day in history, three years ago, Marci Janas met John Rich. Fourteen months later, to the day, they were married. And so began the journey of The Midlife Second Wife.

Three years is a long time in midlife. It often seems, as with dogs, that there’s a seven-to-one ratio at play; aging progresses more quickly. Time certainly passes more quickly. The pages of the calendar don’t turn, they blow past—as though caught in a hurricane. And, as the wind blows, we’re more keenly aware than ever of our mortality, and of how precious each day really is.

I’m waxing philosophical with this anniversary because it is amazing to me that I’ve now known John for three whole years. Readers familiar with our story know we met on Match.com. Our first date—our first meeting—was at the Allen Art Museum on the campus of Oberlin College. We met outside the beautiful Cass Gilbert-designed jewel box of a building, and paused to get acquainted on the arbor bench under the tree at the top of the screen. We call it our “Laughing Tree.” If you don’t know that story, then by all means go and read it. Then come back. There’s something else I want to tell you.

And that is this—a wonderful thing that has made us smile each June 14th for the last two years. There are no “pages” to a calendar any longer, not really. (Some metaphors are difficult to abandon.) Like most everyone, John and I use the calendar on our iPhones or laptops. So when John and I were planning our first meeting, he entered this into the calendar on his phone: “June 14. Meet Marci at art gallery.” By some error of fateful import, however, he also clicked “Repeat this event.” Now, every June 14, this entry shows up on his calendar:

“Meet Marci at art gallery.”

Now that’s one way to ensure you never forget an anniversary.

Happy third-year-of-knowing-you, John. Here’s to many more.