Tag Archives: Life

To Marci, On Your 20th Birthday

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by in The Writing Life, Transitions

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Nothing but myself?….My selves.
After so long, this answer.
As if I had always known
I steer the boat in, simply.

— from “Integrity” by Adrienne Rich

Marci, you don’t know me. I’m your 56-year-old self. Or maybe you do know me a little—after all, we’re part of the same person.

There’s so much I wish I could tell you on this, your 20th birthday. I wish I could prepare you for what’s to come. Actually, perhaps you don’t need my help; in retrospect, I—I mean we—handled some of the difficult things quite well. Interestingly, it was often the little things that tripped us up.

Right now you are at cross-purposes with yourself. You are working full-time as a legal secretary when so many others from high school are away at college. In fact, you are working too hard; you’re also putting in a lot of part-time hours at Casual Corner, that new retail store at the mall. I know, I know—the 20% discount is wonderful. And once a fashionista, always a fashionista. But I wish you were in a position to take an extra night class at the community college, instead of working two jobs. I know you need the money; you’re helping our mother, with whom you still live—often at each other’s throats.

It will take you many years to understand why she was so fearful and distrustful of life, and why her fears influenced many of the decisions we would make. Her life will be instructive, though: it will teach you what the poet Adrienne Rich will, in just a few years, call a “wild patience.” You must trust me on this.

You haven’t discovered Adrienne Rich yet, but you will. In fact, I’d advise you to seek her out now—don’t wait until you’re at Oberlin College. Yes, you’ll get there. It will take a while, but you’ll do it.

Right now you’re taking two classes—one in English composition, the other in journalism. You think you want to be a writer. You should hold on more tightly to this dream. I know that if I encourage you to change even the smallest thing about your life—to decide just one thing differently—the course of our lives will change. I’m not sure I want you to do that, because I’m coming from a very good place. There has been more sweet than sour in our lives—it has been a good life. No, what I would like you to do is believe in yourself more.

I remember how your thinking used to go:

Fulfilling, exciting careers are for other people, not for me. It’s useless to dream that I’ll be something more than I am, or do something bigger with my life; I’m destined to live in this town forever.

Marci, if you only knew. Please don’t dismiss your dream. Hold on to it. I cannot lie to you: although your dream will indeed be deferred, your “wild patience” will take you far; it will inspire you to pursue your dream again. You will finish college. You will write. You will also marry, and become a mother to a wonderful baby boy.

You will not remain married, but you will discover a strength you didn’t believe you had by living on your own for the first time in your life. You will have a career you never thought possible. You will meet a new man, fall in love, and marry again.

I don’t know if I should tell you any more—I especially don’t know if I should tell you about the bad things that will happen—the sour that seems to always accompany the sweet. Let me just go back to that idea of a wild patience: it will give you strength. It will fill you with passion and resolve. It will be your salvation.

And don’t worry: I’ll be in the boat with you. We’ll steer it in to shore together.

NOTES: The idea of writing to my 20-year-old self came from Chloe of the Mountain, founder of a wonderful blogging network to which I belong called “Generation Fabulous”  (GenFab for short). Today, GenFab started something known as a “blog hop.” We’re all writing to our younger selves and sharing the collective wisdom. You can read the other posts on this topic by clicking this link.

Marci Rich is not related to the late poet Adrienne Rich.

Product Review: Murad’s Vitalic Skin Care Line

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in LifeStyles, Product Reviews, The Beautiful Life, The Healthy Life

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Three amazing skin care products from Murad‘s Vitalic Line: Energizing Pomegranate Moisturizer, Energizing Pomegranate Cleanser, and T-Zone Pore Refining Gel

Thanks to my Sicilian-Lebanese heritage, I’ve been blessed with Mediterranean skin. It has served me well for 56 years—I have no wrinkles or fine lines to speak of, my skin is rarely dry, and it has an elasticity that would make Gumby proud. You do know that there’s a ‘however’ coming, right?

The downside of a skin type such as mine is excess oil that can lead to the occasional pimple, and a tendency toward clogged pores. As blessed as I am to have the skin I have, it nevertheless strikes me as unfair that at my age I still worry about blemishes. Now that’s a First World Problem if ever there was one.

Stress tends to trigger my breakouts; in August and September, with stress levels high, four pimples appeared like four badges of honor on my face. In addition, my skin looked dull and tired—probably because I was feeling dull and tired. Then two things occurred that brightened my outlook considerably.

First, I went on the Digest Diet in September and lost ten pounds. I’ve blogged about my weight loss journey (I’ve kept the weight off, too) and as I noted, one of the side benefits to the diet was a new-found clarity to my skin.

Second, I changed-up my skin care routine. I’d used Bliss products for years and liked them just fine, but my skin seems to have outgrown them. My face just wasn’t feeling clean or bright. As luck would have it, I was given an opportunity to try three products from Murad‘s Vitalic skin care line. Let me tell you a bit about Murad.

Dr. Howard Murad is the man behind the company. A board-certified dermatologist and a member of the American Academy of Dermatology, he has devised something called the “Science of Cellular Water,” which looks at the ability of cell membranes to retain water within cells as the fundamental marker of youthful good health. Dr. Murad combined this with an approach to skin care he calls “inclusive health.” It’s no surprise that my dieting, in tandem with Murad products, resulted in glowing skin: internal care is one of the three pillars of Dr. Murad’s plan, with the other two being topical skin care and sense of self.

I was doing aces in the internal care component, which, according to the Murad website, “maximizes the body’s healing capacity through choices in food … that ensure it has the building blocks it needs to produce strong, watertight cells.” Admittedly, I still need to find time for those “sense of self”—activities such as facials and massages that also help to reduce one’s level of cell-damaging stress.

Here’s how my path crossed with Murad products.

When I was at the BlogHer12 conference in New York City, I attended a fabulous party sponsored by BOOMBox Network. The B(L)OOMERS PARTY, as it was called, celebrated the theme of beauty and wisdom, and brought together, in one sophisticated location near Bryant Park, a whole flock of women who blog about midlife issues. (I have so much more to tell you about this event, but it will have to keep for a future post. For now, here’s a photo from the party.)

That’s me on the right; to my left is Carrie Tuhy, co-founder of the Second Lives Club.

Many of the party’s sponsors were eager to meet with us to show off their latest and greatest products, samples of which could be found in the swag bags we received. Murad was one company that immediately caught my eye. Our gift bags included a sample kit of their Resurgence line of skin care products, which are designed to address the signs of hormonal aging.

When I got home I gave the products a try, but I sensed—correctly—that they weren’t what my skin needed. When I wrote to the representative I’d met at the party to let her know, she told me that another product line might suit me better.

She sent me three different products to try from Murad’s Vitalic Line, which was created to even oily and dry zones, clear clogged pores, and keep combination skin like mine in balance. Here’s what I promised Murad: if I was pleased with the products, I would write a review. There was no expectation that I would do so; I could have tried the products, hated them, called it a day, and you’d be reading something else right now.

But that’s not what happened.

The pomegranate-kissed products in the Murad Vitalic line are exactly what I’ve been looking for. I absolutely love these products. I love the way my face feels after washing it with the Energizing Pomegranate cleanser. Besides having a pleasant fragrance—something akin to pink lemonade—the cleanser leaves my skin feeling freshly-scrubbed but not dry. One of its main ingredients is witch hazel, a botanical used to produce astringents. That’s one of the reasons I feel so clean after using this cleanser—the witch hazel actually removes the excess oil from my Mediterranean skin.

After washing my face and neck with the Pomegranate cleanser, I gently massage the T-Zone Pore Refining Gel over my face and neck. The packaging tells me that I can expect the retinol in this gel to help improve my skin texture, tone, and radiance; the glycolic and salicylic acids act as an exfoliant to help clear my pores and imperfections; and the pomegranate extract neutralizes and protects my skin against free radical damage. Now I studied biology, not chemistry, but I’m sure that indeed is what’s going on. The proof is in the mirror.

I think my skin looks great! Now if Murad has something to unpack those bags under my eyes….

The third-step is the moisturizer, which is oil free and contains broad spectrum SPF 15 protection—a nice added benefit. I don’t use this moisturizer near my eyes, however; in fact, I’m still using the Renewing Eye Cream from the Resurgence line for that area. I’d love it if Murad would manufacturer an eye-specific moisturizer in the Vitalic line—maybe something that can reduce the puffiness under my eyes. The other two products I have yet to try are the Energizing Pomegranate SPF 15 Lip Protector and a Pomegranate Exfoliating Mask. It’s been a long while since I’ve treated myself to a decent facial, so I plan on purchasing the mask and give myself one at home.

Most Murad products are available at Sephora. Murad also has a line of professional spa treatments; if you visit the spa locator on their website you can find out whether there’s a salon offering Murad near you.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this review, or about Murad products in general. My glowing skin and I are happy to help!

Read this important update about Murad’s Vitalic skin care line.

The ‘L’ Word

20 Saturday Oct 2012

Posted by in Love, Midpoints, Relationships and Family Life, Remarriage, Transitions

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morgueFile image/KConnors photograph

NOTE: KatieCouric.com published an edited version of this post as “Learning to Love Again” on Monday, Oct. 22, 2012.

As many magazine articles, advice columnists, and situation comedies will tell you, it’s tricky being the first person in a relationship to say, “I love you.” Remember George Costanza? George was left holding what Jerry Seinfeld called a “pretty big matzo ball” because he failed to receive the much coveted “I love you return.” But what’s funny on television is actually quite terrifying in real life. It takes a huge leap of faith and nerves of titanium to say the “L” word first.

Take that terror to the tenth power if you’re divorced.

I know whereof I speak. After 26 years of marriage, my first husband and I divorced. Fast-forward six years, and I meet him. You know, The One. But let’s digress a moment, because playing with these numbers has given me an epiphany.

When I met The One, I was one year shy of my seven-year cellular renewal cycle—you know, that “Aha! Moment” your body supposedly has when all of its cells slough away, leaving you with an almost brand-new self. In truth, as Nicholas Wade wrote in a New York Times science article seven years ago, some cells—“the neurons of the cerebral cortex, the inner lens cells of the eye and perhaps the muscle cells of the heart”— remain unchanged. Now that’s what I call something of great constancy. The cellular structures of the brain, the eye, and the heart—three essential components in registering romantic love, if you ask me—remain constant. The cells in the rest of our bodies hit the refresh key, as it were.

Interesting. But the brain, eye, and heart theory didn’t pass the constancy test in my first marriage, I’m sad to say.

Then again, you never know. I like the idea of considering, given multiples of seven, that perhaps anything is possible. Believe me, I have mapped this out. I was married at 21 and divorced at 47. (Okay, so I’m a year or two off.) But everything did seem possible when I met The One, skipping along as I was toward my next seven-year cycle of renewal. The One and I had a lot in common: we made each other laugh, we sang lyrics from the Great American Songbook while cleaning up the kitchen after cooking together, and the attraction we felt toward one another left us in awe.

And then, two-and-a-half months into the relationship, it happened.

I did it. I’m the one who said it. After a hesitant sigh, he replied, as gently as he could, “I’m sorry. I’m just not there yet.”

Talk about your matzo balls. I could have opened a deli.

“Forget it,” I countered hastily. “I shouldn’t have said it. I understand what you’re saying/feeling/thinking.” (I was trying to fill in as many blanks as I could to cover myself.) “It’s all right.”

I wanted to believe that his reaction stemmed from emotional baggage. Our arms were filled with it. His divorce, however, was more recent than mine. I had reached the point where my baggage, as Dr. Terri Orbuch (The Love Doctor) says, could fit in the overhead compartment. Him? Not so much. He needed a skycap.

Or maybe it was something else. Maybe (Heaven forefend!) it was a case of “he’s just not that into you.”

And so he left, leaving me to wonder if I’d blown it. How could I have misread the signals? Everything pointed to love. All of the signs were there: the caring, the fondness, the intimacy, the long, meaningful conversations, the seeming trust, the genuine enjoyment in just being together. If that’s not love, what is?

I decided I wasn’t going to let this get to me. I was happy, he was happy. (He was, wasn’t he?) We had a date for the following evening; in fact, we had several events lined up into the next month. I wasn’t about to bring it up again.

Until one day I did.

“I blank you.”

“What?”

“I said ‘I blank you.’”

“What does that mean?”

“It can mean whatever you’d like it to mean. Fill in the blank. For my part, I know what it means but I’m not telling you. More cake?”

He laughed, and that was that. We were back on an even keel. “I blank you” became a running joke between us. He even started saying it to me.

The weeks flew by. Before I knew it, October was here, the month containing the second most dreaded Hallmark holiday (after Valentine’s Day) for single people: Sweetest Day.

I remember the scene as though it were yesterday. I had cooked dinner, something from my collection of Barefoot Contessa cookbooks. I bought him a maroon hooded Oberlin sweatshirt, not because he went to Oberlin, but because I did. I still lived in that quaint college town, and he loved its cultural vibe as much as I did. I wrapped the gift and bought a card. I presented both to him with a flourish. Here’s the card:

© Marian Heath. Used with permission and slightly altered, as it was the day I gave it to The One. Where would we be without Post-It Notes?

After he finished laughing, he became quiet. He looked at me across the table and said, “Marci, I’m not saying this because it’s Sweetest Day. I don’t “blank” you anymore. That’s silly. I love you.”

There it was. Four months after meeting him on Match.com, he told me he loved me. The matzo ball dissolved.

Four years after that first sweetest day together, we’re still celebrating. We’ve been married for two years. At the risk of tempting fate, by our seventh wedding anniversary, I fully expect the constancy theory to hold—my heart, my head, and my eyes will see what I’m seeing right now: He’s The One.

© Marian Heath. Used with permission.

RELATED:

‘When they Fall, they Fly’

“Outliers of Outloving”

“Secrets Of A Successful Marriage: Marlo Thomas And Phil Donahue”

“Secrets to a Happy Relationship”

 

The Midlife Second Wife Joins “Katie” as a Featured Blogger on Monday, Oct. 22

18 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Love, Relationships and Family Life, Special Events, What's the Buzz?

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The elegant set of ‘Katie.’ The show is taped at ABC Studios in New York and syndicated across the United States.

(MONDAY, OCT. 22, 2012)—UPDATE: I learned late last night that the segment featuring Dr. Terri Orbuch has been postponed and will be rescheduled. When the producers announce a new air date I will let you know. Hope you can tune in to watch Academy Award-winning actress Susan Sarandon speak with Katie Couric and see both women engage in a bit of competitive sport!

The call came on a Monday in August, about a week after I had returned home to Richmond following the BlogHer conference in New York City. On the line was Brittany Jones-Cooper, a producer of Katie, Katie Couric’s new syndicated daytime talk show.

She and Couric had been at the BlogHer conference—Couric was featured in one of several keynote interviews, engaging in a lively discussion with BlogHer cofounder Lisa Stone, and issuing a clarion call for bloggers to participate in her new show. The television legend certainly came to the right place!

And, it would seem, so did I.

Back to that phone call. Couric’s producer had seen my blog, liked what I wrote, and asked if I could be in ABC Studios in New York on Thursday for a taping. Couric has employed several ingenious methods of integrating social media into her program; one way is to have two bloggers in the audience for each show. The theme of this particular program would be divorce.

Now as we all know, I happen to know a little bit about that subject.

And so it was that three days later, my husband John, who grew up about 20 minutes outside of the city, drove me into Manhattan. A bonus of the trip? We’d take some time to explore all of the landmarks of his youth—something I’d wanted to do ever since meeting him.

What a whirlwind! Just arrived backstage at the ABC Studios, still wearing my traveling clothes. TMSW got dressed and made up in record time!

I’m in the cobalt blue jacket, wearing a necklace and an Apple MacBook Pro. At my right is blogger Deesha Philyaw, of ‘Co-Parenting 101.’

You’re reading about all of this now because the program I was invited to attend airs on Monday, Oct. 22, at 3 p.m. on NBC12 in the Richmond market. You’ll want to visit the Katie website to check your local listings; in some markets the program airs at 2 p.m.

Katie Couric chats with the audience before the taping. Check out her gorgeous shoes!

The featured guest? One of my favorite actresses—the smart, sultry, simply ageless Susan Sarandon—as admired for her social activism as she is for her award-winning performances. Single after a long-term partnership with actor Tim Robbins, she turned 66 earlier this month; she shares her thoughts about commitment, relationships, and what it’s like to be an older—albeit steadily working—actress in Hollwood. Also on the show is Dr. Terri Orbuch, aka ‘the love doctor,’ offering useful marital advice—from a surprising source.

After the taping, Sarandon and her two dogs, Rigby and Penny, posed for pictures with Katie. Remind me to tell you a cute story about Rigby!

The colorfully-garbed audience of ‘Katie’

I’ll be tweeting LIVE during the broadcast beginning at 3 p.m. Eastern Time. If you’re not already following me on Twitter, please hop over to the next window and click “follow.”

The producer also asked me to write an essay for the program’s website about finding love after divorce. (I happen to know a little something about that, too.) KatieCouric.com published “Learning to Love Again” on Oct. 22, 2012. The post appears as “The ‘L’ Word” on this blog.

I hope you’ll have a chance to tune in or follow my LIVE tweets during the broadcast. Enjoy! And as always, thanks for reading!

And the Winner of ‘The Digest Diet’ Is …

15 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in What's the Buzz?

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The recipes in this book are delicious and fun to prepare.

Isn’t it nice to start off a Monday with some good news? I’m ducking in very quickly to announce the winner of my giveaway. Congratulations to Mindy Trotta of Cambridge, Massachusetts! Your free copy of The Digest Diet, by Liz Vaccariello, will be departing the post office here in Richmond sometime this week. Watch that mailbox!

My thanks to all those who left comments on my blog post about the diet.

And in case you were wondering….I’ve kept all the weight off, even though I’ve reintroduced things I kind of missed—cream in my coffee, for example. But I’ll tell you something: I simply cannot eat the way I used to—don’t have the taste for it. And as Martha Stewart would say, “That’s a good thing.”

Have a great week, everyone!

Where I Come From

14 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by in Nostalgia, Transitions, What's the Buzz?

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The old Elyria Public Library, Elyria, Ohio

VIOLA:
What country, friends, is this?

CAPTAIN:
This is Illyria, lady.

VIOLA:
And what should I do in Illyria?

What should I do, indeed?

Readers, I come from Elyria, Ohio. When I first ran across this passage from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (Act I, Scene II), as an English literature major at Oberlin College—15 miles (give or take) southwest of Elyria—I smiled to myself. How, I thought, could Shakespeare possibly have known that, in truth, there’s really not that much to do in ‘Illyria.’

Aye, there’s the rub.

Elyria, like so many neighboring towns in Northeast Ohio—including that metropolis to the east, Cleveland—has experienced more than its share of brain drain. Not that I’m such an Einstein, but after my divorce I moved to my alma mater’s eponymous town. I had gone to school at Oberlin and by then had worked at the college for ten years. My diaspora-of-one was not just to save myself a 15-minute commute twice each day; it was to live my life in a community of like-minded people, with steps-away access to internationally renowned concerts and lectures, where I no longer felt as though I were a stranger in a strange land. What a thing to say about one’s hometown! But it was true. I felt I had outgrown Elyria, although in some ways it’s quite possible it was the town that had outgrown me.

I remember when the fine arts were a lively part of life in Elyria. My mother spent—no, volunteered—countless hours selling subscription tickets to the Elyria Community Concert Association. Many backwater towns sponsored similar cultural lifelines, and Elyria was a thriving hub on the circuit. I remember seeing opera legend Leontyne Price, the Vienna Boys’ Choir, Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, the piano duo of Ferrante and Teicher, and many others artists perform live in the auditorium of Elyria High School. Imagine that: a town without a performing arts center nevertheless brought internationally respected artists to visit.

And I remember taking the bus downtown with my mother, browsing through any number of sweet little shops that sold fashionable clothes to “the smart set,” eating at any number of mom-and-pop restaurants or soda fountains, buying chocolate cupcakes at Gartman’s Bakery. I saw the Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night at the old Capital Theater downtown, and bought my 45-records at Wagner’s Appliance Store. I failed to learn how to swim at the Elyria YMCA across from Ely Square. I’ve already shared with you my childhood memory of the old Elyria Public Library, pictured above. All those places are gone. The library, torn down, opened a modern, one-story facility on Washington Avenue, sometime in the late 1960s, as I recall. It’s still there, although now there’s a newer, larger, main library on the west side.

You know that a city is growing when one library isn’t enough to contain all the dreams of its readers.

Elyria was changing, and I was changing with it. All the shopping was now centered at the Midway Mall. If you didn’t drive you had to take a taxi to get there, because the buses had stopped running. All the downtown movie theaters—and at one time there were four—were shuttered. The Community Concert Association folded; people now drove south to Oberlin to satisfy their longing for culture, or north to Lorain County Community College, at the very edge of the city, where a lecture series and a performing arts series were gaining a foothold. (I actually began my college education there, and received an excellent foundation that prepared me well for Oberlin.) The point, however, is that there really wasn’t much of anything left in Elyria except for government offices, banks, and lawyers.

It made sense that as long as I was starting a new life, I might as well give myself a new city in which to start it. Oberlin was an oasis in the corn belt that rimmed the rust belt of Elyria.

I’m indulging in this reverie because today’s Sunday New York Times features a portrait of my hometown on its front page—the first in a five-part series. Dan Barry, a gifted writer and reporter for the New York Times, spent untold hours in Elyria, interviewing residents, business owners, and government officials—including my oldest and dearest friend, a woman who has remained in Elyria her entire life, never, ever giving up on it. She now serves as the city’s Safety-Service Director. Her passion for helping the city’s current administration turn the city around is inspiring. I hope that she—that they—can do it.

P.S. About the diner that serves as the lens through which Dan Barry views Elyria: After my second husband and I got our marriage licenses, in the fancy new justice center across from the square that also figures prominently in Barry’s article, we walked over to Donna’s Diner for lunch. Several members of the ‘Breakfast Club,’ also referenced in the article, were still there, lingering over their coffee. As is often the case with small towns, I knew several of them. I said hello, and introduced to them the man I was about to marry.

My Mother’s Voice

12 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by in The Healthy Life, The Writing Life, Transitions, What's the Buzz?

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I wrote an essay—the first of many I will write—about my mother’s slide into the quicksand and darkness of dementia. I published it on my blog, and the editors of BlogHer honored it with a Voice of the Year Award for 2012. I’m proud of this, but not solely for the reason you might think. I’m proud of this essay because it exists, because I was able to write it at all. I managed to descend into that frightening pit of despair and start to tell my mother’s story, to return her voice to her, to leave something of her to this world that she left 12 years ago. This was not an easy thing to do, and I will have to do it again and again and again, until her story is fully told, until her voice is finally heard. It will be difficult, and I know there will be times I’ll be afraid to continue.

She was an intensely private person, but in this respect I think she would want me to keep going. She would want people to know, because, sadly, she was one among millions who have disappeared into the maw of Alzheimer’s, and who will continue to disappear until a cure can be found. Maybe if enough stories get told, if enough attention is paid, something that might be enough will be done, and the disease (the irony of my word choice isn’t lost on me) will itself become a memory. It happened with smallpox. It could happen again.

According to Alzheimer’s Disease Research, a program of the American Health Assistance Foundation, more than 5.4 million Americans are believed to have Alzheimer’s disease; by 2050, as the U.S. population ages, this number could increase to 15 million. There are nearly 36 million people living with dementia worldwide, and this number is likely to increase to more than 115 million by 2050.

The essay, “‘Have You Met My Daughter?’ My Mother, Her Alzheimer’s and Me,” is one of 80 essays representing 80 bloggers included in the Voices of the Year anthology, published by BlogHer in conjunction with Open Road Media.

The anthology will be available for download (from Amazon and iTunes) on Oct. 30, but advance orders are available now. Here’s what Amazon says about BlogHer and the book:

BlogHer is a unique media company created by women, for women, and—most importantly—with women, women like those whose voices you’ll read in this collection. Each year, BlogHer—the largest network of women who blog—hosts an initiative to identify the very best work from across the blogosphere. Submitted by the community, selected by a committee, and presented at the world’s largest blogging conference, the pieces presented here have it all because women live it all—online and off. Humor. Inspiration. Food. Family. Style. Sex. Politics. Tech. Career. Dreams. BlogHer’s Voices of the Year reminds us of the transformative power of blogs to connect us all via powerful storytelling.

My thanks to Elisa, Lisa, and Jory—the co-founders of BlogHer—for envisioning this project, and to Donna Schwartz Mills, a member of BlogHer’s conference programming team, for helping to administrate it. I’m humbled by the honor, and honored that my mother’s story will reach a wider audience.

The Digest Diet Day 21: Did I Do It? Am I Done?

02 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Food for Thought, The Healthy Life, Transitions

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This isn’t really a diet book, in my opinion. It’s more a handbook for a healthy way to eat.

Yes, I did it! I reached my implicit goal: to get my weight below 200. I now clock in at 199 pounds 8 ounces, for a grand total loss of 9 pounds 6 ounces. Yay me! Yay Digest Diet! Let’s recap, shall we?

I started the Digest Diet three weeks ago, weighing in at 209 pounds 4 ounces. I’m a 56-year-young thyroid cancer survivor with a job where I spend most of the day sitting in front of a computer in my home office. If you were paying careful attention, you can count three significant factors in that previous sentence: age, the loss of the body’s metabolism regulator, and lifestyle. These factors gave rise to my weight gain over the years. My issues with weight have been pretty consistent: I’ve needed to lose a good bit of it, and I’ve lacked the proper motivation.

There’s no motivator quite like telling the world what you’re up to. I believe one reason I’ve found success on this diet is because I’ve checked in a couple of times a week—not just here, but also on the Digest Diet Twitter hashtag (#DigestDiet) and their Facebook site. The community of Digest Dieters in the blogosphere has been incredibly supportive, as have the staff at Readers’ Digest.

If you’ve been tracking my progress, you’ll recall that my explicit goal was to lose 15 pounds. Although I fell slightly more than five pounds short of that goal, I’m satisfied with my results. The big deal for me, at least psychologically, was not to see the numeral two leading off the numbers of my digital weight. I cannot tell you what this means to me. I also went down a bra size, too. (I’m not much for measuring myself—I’ve always sort of gone by how my clothes fit and look on me—so I don’t have those stats.)

But let’s take a look, shall we? Here are my before and after pictures:

After

Before

When I tell you that this is the best diet I’ve been on, these are the indices I used:

  • I continually lost weight. I might have plateaued a day or three, but I never reversed direction. The trajectory was down, down, down. And I hope you can tell from the photos, but the sleeve on my shirt is looser than in the first photo, the girls look more reined in, and one of my middle bulges is nearly gone.
  • My self-esteem trajectory was up, up, and up.
  • I had more energy. It was easier to take extended walks for exercise—at minimum one mile—because I didn’t get winded and my knees didn’t hurt.
  • My skin has more clarity.
  • With one or two rare exceptions, I’ve absolutely loved every recipe I’ve prepared from this book—so much so that I plan to incorporate almost everything I tried into my regular routine. And here is the answer to the second question in my headline: I’m not done. Not by a long shot. Not only do I not want to see weight creep again, I want to continue this pattern of healthy eating. And I promise to check in with you down the road to let you know if I’ve done so.

Here’s what I cooked for dinner the other evening, toward he end of the diet. My husband loved this, and so did I.

Spaghetti with Super Mushroomy Marinara

I’ll try, before the end of the week, to share the recipe for this pasta dish. Coming from someone who is half-Sicilian, you know you can trust me when I tell you that this satisfied my pasta fulfillment requirements.

Now, three minor caveats about the Digest Diet:

First, it will help enormously if you love to cook, don’t mind cooking frequently, and have access to a good market with a wide array of produce, seafood, and the occasional esoteric item, such as almond oil. Fortunately, I love to play in the kitchen and a fabulous market recently opened up within walking distance of my home, so I enjoyed pulling these recipes together. But do note that there is a time, labor, and shopping factor involved here, and this diet will require a level of commitment that must take those factors into account.

Second, I’m not sure I would have been as successful on the diet if I were working full-time away from home. The flexibility that being self-employed gives me enabled me to weave the demands of frequent cooking, shopping—and yes, eating—into my day. You’re eating five times a day on this diet, not three, so those with a different daily schedule might find it all a bit challenging. If you are willing to be more organized and dedicated, you’ll do fine. Trust me. Two days into this you will want to keep going. When you see the results and experience how you’re starting to feel, you’ll find it’s worth spending the extra time in the kitchen and at the market.

Finally, there are no guidelines in the book about eating out in restaurants while you’re on the diet, something that my husband and I do about twice a week. (We just avoided restaurants for the duration.) I did, however, find a page on the Readers’ Digest website that addresses this issue. Perhaps a subsequent edition of the book could incorporate the great information on the website.

Last Friday I had a lunch meeting with a client, my first foray into a restaurant since starting the diet. I chose a tossed green salad with feta cheese, grilled chicken, walnuts, and cranberries in a raspberry vinaigrette. I ate some of the cranberries but felt they might have too much sugar, so I left most of them on my plate. Once you’ve been on the diet for a week or so, you’ll get a sense of what foods to avoid and what foods will help you continue to release those damn fat cells.

Would I recommend this book to someone struggling with weight? In a New York minute! I have tried so many diets throughout my lifetime, and nothing—I repeat, nothing, compares to the Digest Diet in terms of results. At no time did I feel I was starving or denying myself of something delicious to eat.

Do you believe that some things in life are just meant to be? I do. I was meant to go on this diet, right now. Here’s the sign the universe sent to tell me so. Do  remember the chocolate chip/coconut/walnut cookie from my first Digest Diet post? You know, the “Royale” from Richmond’s Café Caturra? Here’s a photo to refresh your memory:

The restaurant doesn’t make this cookie anymore. They changed distributors and no longer have access to the required ingredients. Now if that’s not a sign from the gods, I don’t know what is.

(Just don’t ask me how I know.)

Related posts:

How to Buy the Book

13 Things You Didn’t Know About the Digest Diet

The Digest Diet: Day 18 and Wow! The Loss I’ve Seen

A Fat Releasing Salad that’s Good and Good for You

The Digest Diet: Day 13 and Slowly Getting Lean

The Digest Diet: It’s Day Eight and I’ve Lost Weight

The Digest Diet: Day 3 and 2 Pounds Free

21 Days of the Digest Diet: Days 1-4, There’s a Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On

Buh-Bye, Cookie. I’ll Be Blogging it Off With the Digest Diet

The Digest Diet: Day 13 and (Slowly) Getting Lean

22 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by in The Healthy Life, Transitions

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Shrimp Soup from the Digest Diet—delicious and satisfying

Well, here it is, the 13th day of the Digest Diet, and I seem to have plateaued a bit. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve lost six-and-a-quarter pounds and for that I’m grateful. I’m still on the downward trajectory—and that’s better than the alternative—but I’m trying to determine why the weight loss has slowed.

Several factors come to mind. First, last week a couple of events sort of knocked me off schedule. I didn’t eat any prohibited food, but I actually missed an afternoon snack and a dinner meal one day, compensating by having my afternoon snack in the evening. The practice of skipping a meal—or even a snack at this point—is one to avoid if at all possible. When you don’t eat, your body is tricked into thinking it’s in starvation mode and therefore clings to the fat for dear life. A paradox, but then so is the fact that women in France who eat butter- and cream-laden foods remain thin because they drink wine with nearly every meal. My resolve for the coming week: stay on track.

The other possibility is the fact that on the fifth day of the diet I shifted into its second gear. The Digest Diet is divided into three phases:

  • Fast Release
  • Fade Away
  • Finish Strong

During the first four days, the weight really came off—I lost three-and-a-quarter pounds by the end of this phase. I also enjoyed two delicious shakes each day and only one snack. I’m presently in the Fade Away phase, with only one shake per day and two snacks. The “Fade Away” phase is rather like a Mediterranean-style diet, with lots of green vegetables and protein, and it allows me a four-ounce glass of red wine at dinner (if I skip the wine I can have a handful of red grapes for dessert). I’m sure that diet results are as varied as people are, but I also wonder about something else.

I’ve heard that muscle weighs more than fat. I’ve been walking fairly regularly, and this past week I did get up to two miles. My legs look and feel more toned, but is it possible that my weight loss isn’t quite as dramatic right now because I’m replacing fat with muscle?

In an earlier post I stated my weight loss goal: to lose 15 pounds. I’m almost halfway there with eight days remaining in the program. I’m confident that I’ll make it, because even though I’m in something of a holding pattern, the meals on this diet are delicious enough, interesting enough, and filling enough, that I have no desire or intention to bail out.

It’s time now to prepare my lunch—a “Fade Away” shake. Tomorrow will be the last day of shakes on the diet, and I have to say I’m going to miss them. I don’t miss pizza, but I know I’ll miss these shakes.

Not missing pizza? That strikes me as another positive, and therefore another plus for the Digest Diet.

Other than providing me with a copy of The Digest Diet, Readers’ Digest is not paying me to blog about my experience on the program. (If I lose the weight I hope to lose, that will be compensation enough.)

The Digest Diet: It’s Day Eight and I’ve Lost Weight

17 Monday Sep 2012

Posted by in The Healthy Life, Transitions

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Bell peppers cut into short strips are sautéed with fennel and garlic in this delicious dish.

I won’t leave you hanging. So far I’ve lost five-and-a-half pounds on the Digest Diet.  This is amazing to me, not because I’ve never lost that much weight so early in a diet before, but because, with a few rare exceptions, I haven’t felt hungry or starved. I’m eating well—good, wholesome, healthy food—and it’s mostly been delicious. I wasn’t wild about a snack of green pepper boats stuffed with low-fat Ricotta cheese and sprinkled with pepper, but then I’ve never been a fan of raw green pepper. I love Ricotta. I’m half-Sicilian, for goodness’ sake. All of the meals I’ve prepared, using recipes from the Digest Diet book, have been superb. Take a look at this photograph, for example. Yes, those happen to be green peppers. They’re accompanied, however, by red and yellow bell peppers and sautéed in extra-virgin olive oil with fennel and garlic. Delicious.

And what a wonderful feeling to use salt again. I always cook with Kosher salt, using sea salt as a finish when a recipe warrants. The recipe for Peperonata with Fennel called for a generous pinch of fine sea salt. I buy coarse-ground, but since I have a mortar and pestle I simply ground the salt to the desired consistency and keep it nearby for later use.

I served this dish with a 4-ounce grilled boneless pork chop for Saturday’s dinner. And guess what? I enjoyed it with a 4-ounce glass of red wine—a robust Zinfandel. If this is what losing weight tastes like, well, I do believe I can keep this up for the full 21 days!

The recipes in this book are delicious and fun to prepare.

Everyone will tell you that it’s not enough to eat mindfully; it’s important to exercise, too. Monday through Friday last week, I walked one mile each day. I took the weekend off, and probably shouldn’t have. But this focused commitment to walking regularly is not in character for me. When I was walking regularly, it was only three times a week. (I wrote a post about the health benefits of walking last year. I’m disappointed in myself for not keeping the momentum going, but I’m trying. I really am.)

So this morning, after drinking a mug of hot lemon water (that’s not in the Digest Diet, but actually a regimen a good friend recommended years ago, when I was recovering from surgery for a broken leg), I walked a mile in my favorite park.

Here’s a picture, taken last year, of my favorite place to walk. (It’s too early in the season to make way for goslings.)

I like to listen to French music when I walk. I wonder: if I continue to lose weight thanks to the Digest Diet and regular, brisk walks accompanied by the French chansons of Edith Piaf and Charles Trenet, do I have to count my weight loss in kilos?

Other than providing me with a copy of The Digest Diet, Readers’ Digest is not paying me to blog about my experience on the program. (If I lose the weight I hope to lose, that will be compensation enough.)