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The Midlife Second Wife ™

~ The Real and True Adventures of Remarriage at Life's Midpoint

The Midlife Second Wife ™

Author Archives: themidlifesecondwife

…And Now a Word from Murad About Those Pores…

19 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, The Beautiful Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Beauty, Cosmetics, Facebook, Health, Murad, Sephora, Skin Care, Vitalic

3rk594Regular readers of The Midlife Second Wife know that I’m a huge fan of Murad skin care products. I’m writing this quick post to update you on an important development. A number of you have written to me to say, basically, that “I’ll have what she’s having.” Here’s a note a follower wrote me on Facebook:

About a month ago, Marci Rich recommended Murad’s Age Reform Hydro-Dynamic Ultimate Moisture for Eyes. I bought it. Several times since, I’ve gotten that strange, puzzled squint from someone…’What’s different about you? You look really nice” which I choose to take as a compliment. So, Face Queen Marci [I love that!], thank you. What do you do for the rest of your face?

I wrote back, referring the Facebook correspondent to my first Murad post featuring the company’s Vitalic skin care line. These products have been my go-to regimen for keeping my Mediterranean skin clear and smooth for nearly a year. I love them. For my money, they are the second-best thing—after my husband’s kiss—to ever touch my face.

I can’t send you to Sephora, however, in search of something you might not find, which is what has happened to me the last couple of times I’ve tried to buy the T-Zone Pore Refining Gel. So here’s the new development: The product line is still around—thank God!—but it has a new name. What once was Vitalic is now the Pore Reform line. Makes perfect sense, because my own pores have been completely rehabilitated.

The new Pore Reform Line features two products in the second-step phase (the first is my beloved Daily Cleansing Foam):

T-Zone Pore Refining Serum (the new name for my old T-Zone Pore Refining Gel)
This targeted serum lifts away dull, dry skin cells to even skin texture and tone and dissolves surface skin-clogging impurities to refine pores. T-Zone Pore Refining Serum is a Step 2 treatment product that normalizes oil production and keeps pores clear to maintain healthy, glowing skin.
(2.0 FL. OZ., $42.00)

Blackhead & Pore Clearing Duo
This fast-acting, two-step treatment, consisting of Blackhead Remover and Pore Refining Sealer, helps reduce blackheads and provides pores with lasting protection against impurities. Blackhead & Pore Clearing Duo extracts stubborn debris from deep within the pores and is clinically proven to reduce the formation of blackheads by an average of 58%*.
(2.0 FL. OZ., $49.50)

For the third, moisturizing step, I turn to the phenomenal eye cream that my Facebook friend raved about.

I cannot wait to try the blackhead and pore clearing product in the new Pore Reform line. I’ll let you know what I think after I’ve had a chance to let it work its magic.

Gotta go wash my face now!

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Of Robert Redford, London, and the Transformative Power of Travel

15 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in The Cultured Life, The Musical Life, Transitions, Travel

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

Generation Fabulous, Guildhall School of Music and Drama, Jean Christophe Novelli, London, Robert Redford, Royal Albert Hall, Royal Festival Hall, Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, Simon Rattle, travel, Vanessa Redgrave

Before I was the Midlife Second Wife, in London's Underground

Before I was the Midlife Second Wife, in London’s Underground

I could have sworn that the blond man sitting near the front of the Gloucester Pub in London’s Knightsbridge district was Robert Redford. You don’t forget a chiseled face like his, nor do you forget that trademark orb of yellow hair. I’d been half in love with Redford since seeing the film that inspired me to major in journalism: All the President’s Men. (For most women it’s The Way We Were. Go figure.) If I hadn’t been with two friends, or so utterly gobsmacked by my first (and only) trip across the pond, I might have lingered to make sure that the flesh-and-blood visage sitting several tables away matched up with the celluloid version. But my friends and I, famished and travel-weary after our trans-Atlantic flight, were eager for nourishment before checking into the Chelsea Hotel* on the other side of Sloane Street.

And, truth be told, shyness and a sense of decorum prevented me from intruding on a celebrity’s luncheon.

I ordered the Cottage Pie because, you know, when in London…

The food was good but the coffee was bad.

Exiting the pub, we saw we were surrounded by designer boutiques. I noted three of them: Armani, Chanel, and a shop called À la Mode. And of course there was Harrods.

Princess Diana had died only a few months before—the city was still reeling from her loss—and we were in the heart of her territory. With her friends, when she was merely Lady Di, the area was their shopping stomping ground. As such, they were nicknamed after the fashionable street: they were the “Sloane Rangers.”

Walking towards our hotel, I saw more people using cellular phones (for that’s what they called them then) than I’d ever seen in one place before. Entering the sleek, contemporary lobby, the delicate fragrance of lemon verbena seemed to permeate the air. This is from the travel journal I kept for part of my trip:

There is a pervasive … citrus-y scent to the air in London—in our room, noticed it in the Rolls, even catch wafts of it on the street. This is a dream city, unreal, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

I had been transported into a land of luxury.

How did I ever get here? The farthest I’d been from my home in Ohio was California. I felt as though I were living a dream I never knew I had.

My supremely talented friend was to thank for all of this. An award-winning classical violinist, she had snagged the performance plum of a lifetime: a bill on the program for a joint celebration concert: the 50th Anniversary of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and the 50th birthday of Elton John. The gala event would benefit John’s AIDS Foundation. My friend had invited me to attend as her guest, along with her conservatory teacher, and another woman who would become my friend as well. We had only to provide the cost of our airfare and meals.

I started my journal on the plane. Since I was reading Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being at the time, I began the diary with a quote from the book:

17 December 1997
Sunday 11:45 a.m.

‘There is a certain part of all of us that lives outside of time.’

On the tarmac, reflecting on the route that would take me from Cleveland to Chicago to Toronto, then south of Newfoundland to Ireland, South Wales, and finally London, I wrote:

Imagine: When we do touch down, it will only be 15 minutes later! [I’m] moving backward in time…

Plucked from the rituals of my satisfying but ordinary life, I was time’s fugitive, granted six days to witness and experience sights and sounds (and fragrances, like the lemon verbena that haunts me still) that I never expected to encounter. Nor have I ever encountered anything like them again. Here are some highlights from my itinerary:

Monday Evening, December 15, 1997
A Rolls Royce picks us up at the Chelsea to deliver us to Mayfair, where the impresario who arranged my friend’s performance hosts us to a five-course meal at Les Saveurs:

  • chickpea soup with blood pudding
  • mushrooms in pancake timbale
  • sweet sea bass on aubergine with cherry tomatoes
  • lamb with risotto
  • chocolate mousse timbale with creme

On our way out, the chef, Jean Christophe Novelli, stops us to say he had taken particular care with our orders. I tell him the food was exquisite, and he seems genuinely touched. He asks where I am from, and when I tell him he says that a New York writer is dining at the restaurant that evening.

Tuesday, December 16, 1997
Christmas shopping at Harrods…saw a shrine to Diana and Dodi al Fayed [his father owned Harrods]—quite moving…beautiful portraits of them both.

To the Barbican Centre for L’s rehearsal, followed by a quick pilgrimage to the Guildhall School of Music and Drama next door. Afterwards, high tea at the Hyde Park Hotel, in a private area off the lobby.

HighTeainHydePark

Another quick pilgrimage—to Westminster Abbey—follows high tea, then a rushed trip on the Underground back to the hotel to prepare for a concert in the Purcell Room at the Royal Festival Hall given by another violinist, a friend of my travel companions.

The next evening, a Wednesday, was the reason for our trip: the gala performance at the Royal Albert Hall, with Vanessa Redgrave serving as master of ceremonies. L, resplendent in a red Armani gown, performed Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. (Who conducted? Was it Sir Simon Rattle? I cannot remember and I cannot find my program. This bothers me to no end.)

My two travel companions and I left London for Paris by way of the Channel Tunnel. In four days I would be back home. A whirlwind escapade in every sense of the word.

I’ve not been overseas since that trip, but it transformed me in ways that are still revealing themselves to me. (And I’m not thinking only about my sudden immersion into a heretofore unknown world of luxury.) I realize that because of that journey, I finally abandoned my fear of the new and unfamiliar. (I think I would even say hello to Robert Redford now, were I to spot him in a pub. Although I’d still maintain my decorum by being polite and mercifully brief.) I didn’t flinch when, 13 years later, I moved from the region where I’d spent my entire life to begin a new one with my new husband in Virginia.

Time, they say, waits for no one, but I made time wait for me while I settled into a new life.

“Time,” I wrote then in my journal, “is caught in fierce snatches…. No opportunity for extended reflection, so necessary in trying to capture the details of all we’re experiencing. Many entries—such as this one—recorded days later. Memory will have to shoulder the burden…”

Memory…and the scent of lemon verbena.

*The Chelsea Hotel is now the Millenium Hotel.

 

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How to Help the Cleveland Kidnapping Survivors

10 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Current Events, Transitions

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Amanda Berry, Cleveland Courage Fund, Cleveland Kidnapping, Gina DeJesus, Michelle Knight

This post has been updated to include new information.

Imagine losing 10 years of your life. What, exactly, do you lose? If the question is theoretical, the answers come quickly:

Time with your loved ones.

Your youth.

The chance to learn and laugh and love.

The chance to live a normal life.

But what if the question is not theoretical? Imagine, for example, the magnitude of loss for the three young women in Cleveland, kidnapped a decade ago at the ages of 14, 16, and 21, and held captive in a ramshackle house owned by a man who allegedly snatched them from the natural course of their lives, subjecting them to unimaginable horrors.

By now everyone in the world knows his name. On August 1 a judge sentenced Ariel Castro to life in prison without parole, plus 1,000 years, has been indicted on more than 300 charges, after Castro pleaded guilty to 937 counts, including kidnapping and rape, as part of a plea deal to avoid the death penalty; he had also been charged with aggravated murder for beating one of the women after she became pregnant, forcing her to miscarry.

Imagine conceiving—and then losing—a child in that way.

One of the women did give birth; her daughter, now six-years-old, was born in captivity, and in captivity she lived, until the group’s dramatic release in May.

Imagine what these women have lost. Take your time reading the inventory:

Time with their loved ones. And, for one of them, a last goodbye and a chance to grieve for the mother who died in her absence.

Their youth.

Their innocence.

The chance to learn and laugh and love.

The chance to live a normal life.

For Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight, the last 10 years were spent, not in a waking dream, like a coma patient, but in a waking nightmare of unspeakable hell.

Imagine the courage it must take to survive such torment.

Imagine their future. Can you?

Video statements posted recently on YouTube provided the women with the chance to speak publicly for the first time about their ordeal. The video also provided the world with the chance to replace the faces of their youth, seen on missing children posters and in news reports, with the faces they grew into: lovely young women, poised, on the brink of new lives, and very much in continued need for privacy as they heal and recover.

As for courage, here’s what Michelle Knight had to say in her prepared statement, included in a transcript of all three videos provided by newsnet5.com:

I may have been through hell and back, but I am strong enough to walk through hell with a smile on my face and with my head held high and my feet firmly on the ground.

Read more: http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/cleveland_metro/transcript-cleveland-kidnapping-victims-say-thank-for-support#ixzz2YeghQaWI

According to published news reports, the women released their public statements so that they might thank their countless supporters, including people who have, to date, donated more than $1 million to a fund established by the Cleveland Foundation.

It is called, appropriately, the Courage Fund.

On the one hand, it seems as though there’s not enough money in the world to give back to these women what they have lost. On the other hand, with 10 years of their lives vanished, they have much work to do to begin building their futures—an education to acquire, skills to learn, and a reorientation into a world that is considerably different than it was 10 years ago.

Not to mention the healing.

I’ve made a modest donation to the Courage Fund. Would you consider doing so as well?

If you would like to contribute to the future of these young women, please make your donation through the Cleveland Courage Fund at clevelandfoundation.org\courage or by mail at Cleveland Courage Fund , c/o the Cleveland Foundation, 1422 Euclid Ave., Suite 1300, Cleveland, Ohio 44115.

Thank you.

Related article:

“Freed Captives in Cleveland Issue Messages of Resolve,” The New York Times

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Chocolate Zucchini Cake

02 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Food for Thought

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Baking, Cake, Chocolate, Desserts, recipes, Zucchini

CompletedCakecrp

Remember that old commercial for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? Two people—one eating chocolate, the other eating peanut butter—bump into each other. The chocolate gets knocked into the peanut butter, yielding a joyous discovery: the marriage of two perfect flavors. Well, whoever it was who decided that a marriage of chocolate to zucchini would be a wondrous thing had an equally excellent idea (although the creative soul probably didn’t earn a similar windfall).

It’s not that zucchini has much flavor to add to a chocolate cake. No, its contribution derives from the moistness it imparts, along with an intriguing hint of texture. I’m sure there are health benefits, too. At least, that’s how I justify a second helping. I’ve had this recipe in my collection since the 1970s. I know because it’s typed (TYPED!) on an index card yellowed with age and splattered with a dash of calcified chocolate batter. I most likely clipped the original recipe from the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

I share this with you now because summer is the perfect time to bake this cake, when farmers’ markets are brimming with fresh zucchini.  Enjoy!

ChocZukeCakemiseenplacecrp1Chocolate Zucchini Cake

—Serves 12

1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter (one stick)
1/2 cup canola oil
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
4 tablespoons cocoa*
3 zucchini, approximately six-inches long
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate pieces*

In a large mixing bowl, cream together the sugars, butter, and oil.

Add the eggs, vanilla, and buttermilk, and stir well to mix. Sift together all the dry ingredients and then sift them into the mixing bowl. Grate the zucchini, skin and all, into the bowl and stir until blended.

GratedZucchiniPour into a greased and floured 13- x 9-inch pan. Sprinkle the top with chocolate pieces and bake in a preheated 325-degree oven for 45 minutes or until cake tests done. Serve the cake plain, or with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

* My baking chocolate of choice is Ghirardelli Chocolate.

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Hey Boomers—Verizon Will Hear You Now

21 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, What's the Buzz?

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

boomers, consumerism, midlife, product reviews, technology, Verizon, Verizon Communications

VerizonBoomerVoices

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program and will be provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.

Now hear this: Verizon is partnering with a select group of midlife bloggers across middle America as part of a new program called “Verizon Boomer Voices,” and they chose yours truly to lend her voice to the chorus. This an important step in the right direction—for boomers and for Verizon.

According to “The Boomer Consumer: Preparing for the Age Wave,” our cohort controls 77% of all U.S. financial assets and 50% of discretionary spending. And a 2012 article in the Huffington Post reported on a study by the media ratings firm Nielsen and BoomAgers, a creative company that assists companies in marketing to boomers. The study’s findings reveal that boomers, which will make up half the U.S. population by 2017, are “the most valuable generation.”

Pardon me while I indulge in a brief editorial digression:

Duh.

And yet, despite our obvious value, boomers have been largely invisible to advertisers and television programming executives. A segment on HuffPost Live last year, “Over 50, Under Counted,” focused on this oversight. One of my very smart boomer blogger friends, Darryle Pollack (in a previous life Darryle was a television reporter), contributed wisely to the conversation. And it delighted me to see that a comment I sent in during the segment’s live stream received attention by the moderators, even if the impossibly young woman did mispronounce my name as Marc. I. Rich.

With Verizon’s program, it appears as though at least one mega-brand recognizes that it’s good business to pay attention to our colossal clout.

Here’s how they’re doing it: Verizon will put some of its best technology into the hands of boomer bloggers who are keenly interested in learning more about tech and becoming something of an expert in the realm. Those among us who have felt sidelined by advertisers and the mainstream media should take heart by Verizon’s initiative. Verizon gets it. They care what we have to say. (And no NSA jokes, please.)

In an e-mail, Verizon Social Media Strategist Iskra Dobreva explained the evolution of the two-year-old Verizon Voices program, which, she notes, was established “to pull together like-minded bloggers to check out some of the latest and greatest Verizon devices, products, and accessories, and then network and share their experiences with one another, and with their readers and social following.”

Since its inception, the Verizon program has, according to Dobreva, “pulled together bloggers that focus on a variety of topics and interests, including sports, fashion, health and fitness, food, family life, etc. Boomer Voices is the latest group Verizon has launched.”

While the Verizon Voices program exists in a variety of markets in the United States, Dobreva notes that the program in which I’m participating is “a Midwest-based program and … the first time a group of Boomer bloggers was formed.”

Verizon is flying me to Chicago this weekend for some training on the device I’ll be testing. In return, I’ll post about the device once each month through December, and I’ll augment those posts with tweets and Facebook updates. One could nickname this program “posting and hosting,” since I’ll also host two house parties where I’ll invite friends, family, and neighbors to eat good food and check out the Verizon goods. I’ll also have to attend monthly webinars, so you can see that this endeavor will keep me busy.

It goes almost without saying that I’m thrilled they chose me for this program, and not just because of the perks. (One of my favorite lines from All About Eve is when Bette Davis says, “I’m … not to be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salted peanut.”) What Verizon is paying for is my honest opinion, and that’s what they will get. If you’ve read the product review I wrote for Viewpoints on a kitchen appliance, you know that I play it as it lays.

I think it’s great that Verizon cares what boomers have to say about the products we buy in the marketplace, and that we use as an integral extension of our daily lives. I should note that I’ve been a loyal Apple consumer ever since my first desktop back in the 1980s, so if I’m to be playing around with non-Apple devices, doing so will mark a first in my own consumer history (except for the Kindle I received from my husband as a Christmas gift). I don’t count the Kindle Paperwhite that I reviewed for Viewpoints, since I donated that to the Richmond Public Library.

Suffice to say that if I encounter any cumbersome learning curves, I’ll try to make reading about them enjoyable for you.

So let’s all raise a glass (and a salted peanut) to Verizon for thinking that the opinions of boomers have value. And for being willing to listen.

Updated on June 22, 2013.

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Get Rid of That Baggage with Murad

17 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews, The Beautiful Life

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Beauty, Emotional baggage, Eye Bags, Health, Moisturizers, Murad, Periorbital Puffiness, Shopping, Skin Care

CreamonEyesFNL

Self-portrait with Murad eye cream

Today we are going to talk about baggage, which—given the title of this blog—should come as no surprise. Longtime readers might remember an early post about baggage, but I should warn you that what you’re about to read concerns luggage of a different sort: the bags we’ve been hauling around under our eyes ever since passing through that fun house portal known as midlife.

I can’t remember when I first noticed mine, which suggests either a woeful lack of perception or a state of blissful denial. My almond-shaped brown eyes had always been my best feature, the only place on my face where one could discern anything resembling fine bone structure. (When I was taking my seat for my kindergarten school portrait, the photographer asked: “Where did you get those big brown eyes?” Without a moment’s hesitation, I told him: “My father.”)

It’s sad when what you take for granted goes away. Oh, the brown eyes are still there, although one of them betrayed me several years ago. And with prescription eyeglasses, I can see just fine, thank God. But when I look in the mirror, I can’t help but notice the bags underneath.

The Web site for the Mayo Clinic explains that the aging process causes the swelling and puffiness we see beneath our eyes. Because the tissues around our eyes, including some of the muscles supporting our eyelids, weaken, the fat that would ordinarily help support our eyes migrates forward into the lower eyelids, causing them to appear puffy. Fluid accumulates there, too. It’s all part of what I call the great downward migration.

As go the eyes, so go the breasts. But that’s another story.

Short of plastic surgery, what’s a gal to do?

The Mayo Clinic recommends the following:

  • Getting enough sleep at night
  • Sleeping with your head slightly elevated
  • Applying a cool compress, using mild pressure, to the skin under and around the eyes.

Now, I happen to love sleep and get lots of it, so that’s not an issue. Admittedly, I’m not good about employing the other remedies. But I do love me some good skin care products, and I believe I have found something that has reduced the appearance of that unsightly under-eye luggage.

Last year, Murad gave me some of their skin care products to try. Their Vitalic line had me at hello; I was smitten, and shared my enthusiasm on this site. I did, however, wish out loud that Murad had something else that might help me:

I think my skin looks great! Now if Murad has something to address those bags under my eyes....

I think my skin looks great! Now if Murad has something to address those bags under my eyes….

Although the Vitalic line does not include an eye cream, Ginelle Torres, Murad’s broadcast and digital media specialist, told me they had a product that I might find useful: the Hydro-Dynamic Ultimate Moisture for Eyes from Murad’s Age Reform brand.

SONY DSCI’ve been using this product since Ginelle sent it to me in November. Soon after receiving it, I had a professional photo taken. While I’m wearing makeup, including eye concealer, in the photo below, I think you’ll agree that there seems little evidence of under-eye bags. The photo has not been retouched, other than to obscure an object in the background that detracted from the shot.

121107_8180Asq

Photo credit: Elli Morris

As with my other review for Murad, I made no promises that I’d write a positive review. I test the products and form my opinion. But here’s how much I love this eye cream:when I began running low, I shelled out $62 to buy it at Sephora.

So what is it about Murad’s Age Reform line that makes it so great? The PR materials claim to “effectively reduce the signs of aging resulting in smoother skin, restored resilience, and increased firmness.” In the case of the Ultimate Moisture for Eyes, the product features Murad’s proprietary Collagen Support Complex, which infuses the eye area with essential nutrients for immediate hydration to firm the eye area. Here are a few other features and benefits:

  • Osmolyte technology helps maintain critical water balance for more youthful-looking skin
  • A peptide blend, based on natural elastin, awakens eyes by improving skin firmness
  • Collagen Support Complex (in conjunction with Hyaluronic Acid) boosts skin’s resilience and smooths the appearance of fine lines
  • Immediately hydrates to firm and awaken eye area
  • Maintains optimal moisture levels for eight hours

If you’re still skeptical, let me tell you this: I rarely wear full makeup anymore. Working from home, I have the luxury of letting my face breathe. You’ve seen a picture of me in full makeup; here’s one I just took today, about an hour after applying the Hydro-Dynamic Ultimate Moisture for Eyes:

AfterEyeCream

Photo taken June 2013

Now compare this with the photo from last year, when I began using Murad skin care products but did not yet have the Hydro-Dynamic Ultimate Moisture for Eyes:

I think my skin looks great! Now if Murad has something to address those bags under my eyes....

Photo taken October 2012

I see a considerable difference. Are my bags completely gone? No, of course not. But are they as overstuffed as in my bathrobe photo?

Well, you tell me. What do you think?

Now about those breasts…

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The Silver Grille’s Maurice Salad

31 Friday May 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Food for Thought, Nostalgia

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Bergdorf Goodman, Cleveland, Higbee, Nostalgia, Recipe, Ritz-Carlton, Salads

SilverGrille

From THE SILVER GRILLE: MEMORIES AND RECIPES, Copyright © 2000. Images used with permission.

My morning’s ritualistic reading of the New York Times unexpectedly transported me to my childhood, thanks to “A Lunch that Tastes Like Nostalgia,” Alex Witchel’s lively account of a midday repast at Bergdorf Goodman’s. Her article pays homage to a fading rite—the department store lunch—and shuttled me back to the 1960s, when my Aunt Helen would occasionally take me with her on the bus to downtown Cleveland, where she had standing Saturday appointments at Higbee‘s hair salon with Miss Rose.

Higbee’s was one of the late, great urban department stores, where you could get your nails done, buy furniture, browse through books and greeting cards, try on dresses, and—oh yes—have lunch. Back in the day Cleveland boasted four such retail havens: Besides Higbee’s there was Halle’s, the May Company, and Sterling Lindner-Davis.

At the Higbee salon I idled away the time looking at fashion and movie magazines, with the promise of lunch afterwards at the terribly sophisticated Silver Grille, followed by a visit to the girls’ clothing department, where Aunt Helen always bought me a dress.

So comforting were my memories of lunch with Aunt Helen at the Silver Grille that when Cleveland Landmarks Press published The Silver Grille: Memories and Recipes a number of years ago, I snapped up a copy at Walden Books.

Higbee‘s and the other stores are gone, now. (So, for that matter, is Walden’s.) The sturdy but elegant Higbee building still stands kitty-corner to the landmark Terminal Tower on Public Square (flanked, on the tower’s other side, by the Ritz-Carlton Hotel). The grand old store is now home to the Horseshoe Casino, and has been for exactly one year to the day that I’m posting this. Fans of A Christmas Story, filmed primarily in Cleveland, will remember Higbee’s; its iconic display windows feature prominently in the film and contained Ralphie’s holy grail—the Red Ryder BB gun.

But I digress. Nostalgia will do that to you. Witchel’s article inspired more than this reverie: It compelled me to pull out my copy of the Silver Grille cookbook.

SilverGrilleCoverThe first recipe I turned to, for Maurice Salad, had become a longstanding favorite of mine long after I outgrew the creamed chicken, which arrived in its own cardboard oven.

Silver Grille cardboard oven

The book notes that Higbee’s Silver Grille began serving meals to little tykes in this cardboard oven in 1974, but my memory (which could be faulty) suggests that I opened the oven doors to retrieve my creamed chicken and whipped potatoes in the 1960s.

Large cities with renowned department stores invariably opened satellites in suburban shopping malls, and Higbee’s was no exception. I often ordered this salad when my mother and I ate at the “Attic” in the Elyria Higbee’s. It was a charming place, but it was no Silver Grille. There could only be one. Happily, the food—if not the name—was the same.

Lunch is ready!

Lunch is ready!

The Silver Grille’s Maurice Salad with Classic Maurice Dressing
Adapted from The Silver Grille: Memories and Recipes. Used with permission.

—Serves four

Six cups diced iceberg lettuce
4 ounces julienned cooked ham
4 ounces julienned cooked turkey or chicken
4 ounces julienned Swiss cheese
4 teaspoons chopped sweet pickle

Combine all ingredients. Mix with one cup of classic Maurice dressing and place in a bowl lined with lettuce leaves.

FOR THE DRESSING (makes one cup):

One cup mayonnaise
One hard-boiled egg, chopped
Two tablespoons chopped parsley
One teaspoon vinegar

Combine salad ingredients with the dressing and mix.

Note: The Silver Grill made the original Maurice Dressing with a commercial base not currently available, according to the cookbook. A recipe former Silver Grill employee devised this recipe.

Two more things you should know:

1. James A. Toman, publisher of Cleveland Landmarks Press, tells me that they are reissuing all of the previously published Silver Grille recipes in a new volume, Recipes from the Silver Grille. The book is forthcoming sometime in late summer; be sure to check out the publisher’s website for details.

2. The Silver Grille underwent an award-winning restoration in 2002 by the Ritz-Carlton Cleveland. Although no longer a restaurant, the hotel uses the spacious tenth-floor room as a “function space,” according to Kelsey Williams, senior marketing and PR coördinator of the Ritz-Carlton, which is the venue’s exclusive caterer.

The Silver Grille today, in its current incarnation as an event venue of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

The Silver Grille today, in its current incarnation as an event venue of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. Photo courtesy of the Ritz-Carlton.

Do you have department store lunch memories of your own? Share them in the comments section below!

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My Mother, the Dictionary

06 Monday May 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Relationships and Family Life, Special Events

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

Gypsy Rose Lee, Life Lessons, Mother's Day, Reading

Gypsy

My mother’s copy of the book that led to an indelible memory.

My mother, to quote Yul Brynner in The King and I, was a puzzlement. She was a first-generation Sicilian-American—strict and extremely Catholic—yet the legendary burlesque artist Gypsy Rose Lee so fascinated her that she purchased a copy of Lee’s autobiography. By the time I was six or seven and a book magpie, reading anything I found lying around the house, I picked up the memoir and dove in. The Random House Unabridged Dictionary had not yet been published, so if an unfamiliar word ground my reading to a halt, I went to my most trusted source: My mother.

“Mom, what does ‘lesbian’ mean?”

“What?” She pretended not to hear me.

“Lesbian. What does it mean? It says here that someone in the book couldn’t go back to Chicago, because they knew her there as a lesbian. What’s a lesbian?”

Having sufficiently recovered, my mother replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “It’s a kind of religion.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

It could be said that my mother taught me the art of dissembling—something that could come in handy later if I ever became a fiction writer. Or entered politics.

But that’s selling her short. Although it is true that she presented me with a lifetime of exasperating puzzles and mixed messages, she also taught me many wonderful things. Here’s a short list:

  • A love of Broadway musicals. (Hence the King and I reference.)
  • A love of classical music. (When I think of Saturday afternoons as a child, I always think of the Metropolitan Opera radio broadcasts while cleaning the house. “Si mi chiamano,” choreographed with a dust rag, enhanced by the smell of Pledge.)
  • A love of dogs, as evidenced by this photograph.

MomMePuppy

  • The lesbian red herring notwithstanding, a respect for honesty and integrity, and an expectation of both from me.
  • An abiding faith in God. She might have skipped Mass with regularity, but she taught me how to pray. And she always believed that her own prayers would be answered.
  • A love of cooking and baking. I think the recipe section of my blog attests to this.
  • A sense of style and a love of fashion. We didn’t have much money when I was growing up, but my mother would rather go shopping than pay the electric bill. In this way and in others (again, I think of her disingenuous definition), I formed healthy and prudent life habits, sometimes as antidotes to her examples.

My mother was a complicated woman, which is to say that she was human. By trial and error, although often with her example to guide me, I figured out a way to be in the world.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. She would have been 99 this June.

But she wouldn’t want you to know that. She also lied about her age.

 

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What I Wore

01 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Humor Me, The Well-Dressed Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

designer labels, Fashion, Humor, What I Wore

“For ‘Talk Stoop,’ I wore a blue and orange print Jenni Kayne skirt, a sheer black top and the black Casadei cage sandals. I want to kiss them and make out with them.”
—Heather Graham, “What I Wore”
The New York Times
April 26, 2013

NaotSandles

I ask you: Would you kiss these shoes?

Wednesday, April 24
No need to wake up early, since I’m not flying anywhere, so I lounged under the covers in the sleeveless coral nightgown my husband bought me for Christmas from Soft Surroundings. It has the sweetest ecru trim at the shoulders and neckline that seems as though it should be called lace, but it isn’t lace. I don’t know what it is. Crochet? Some other kind of needlework? How am I supposed to know these things? It might be crochet. My grandmother used to crochet afghans, which are blankets made out of large holes and yarn, and not Afghani dolls, although there might be some connection with Afghanistan. I’m not sure. My grandmother was from Lebanon. Anyway, I slept until the dog woke me up. Then I put on the ecru duvet slippers I bought on sale at Restoration Hardware. (Amazing. You go shopping for a brushed-nickel hook and end up finding the perfect slippers! I want to kiss them and make out with them!) I went downstairs and made coffee. When I added cream to my coffee it was the same color as my duvet slippers and the crochet on my nightgown. Ecru is my favorite non-color color, in that it reminds me of coffee.

Because I was getting a pedicure later that morning the woman at the salon asked me to wear flip-flops so the polish wouldn’t smear. I don’t own flip-flops, so instead I wore these beautiful blue leather slip-on sandals from Naot with my “Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” blue jeans and a Norton McNaughton navy boatneck three-quarter-sleeve top I bought on sale at Higbee’s in the 1980s. My mother always said: “Buy classic clothes and accessories and they’ll never go out of style.” She was right. I still wear two acrylic bracelets that I had in high school. The Naot sandals are insanely comfortable yet pretty; seven small rhinestones form a daisy petal on top of concentric stitched leather cutout petals. I want to kiss them and make out with them! It was cold and raining outside. I should have been wearing socks and warm shoes but what with the pedicure and all I couldn’t. As my godmother used to say: “You have to suffer to be beautiful.”

Thursday, April 25
Woke up with a bad sore throat and a stuffy nose. I didn’t have any appointments outside the house, but contractors were stopping by to discuss installing a railing on our front stoop and a white picket fence in our backyard. Luckily it had stopped raining, which was good because I was going to be darting in and out. I selected the warmest, comfiest clothes I could find that still proclaimed “Spring!”: a Cleveland Indians hooded sweatshirt featuring Jacobs Field on the front, the NYDJ bluejeans, warm socks, and my Abeo running shoes.

I don’t run. I have bad knees. But I do walk the dog. A lot. Sandy typically requires three outings, on average, each day. This is in addition to the morning walk she has with John before he goes to work, and the walk he gives her right before bedtime. Walking is excellent exercise for those with bad knees, but regardless of what you do with your knees, comfortable footwear is essential. My midlife compatriots know what I’m talking about. What does a year of disco dancing in platform shoes in the ’70s get you? A generation of women with knees like rusty hinges.

Friday, April 26
So excited! John and I had tickets to hear Michael Feinstein perform at Playhouse Square! My cold was a bit better, since I’d been popping Coldcalm like an opium fiend. I decided on my go-to evening-out attire: a black square-necked, dropped waist dress from Coldwater Creek. Because it was a bit chilly, I topped it with a black and grey duster from Barbara Lesser Studio. It looks like alligator skin but it’s not really alligator skin—I wouldn’t wear anything that harmed a reptile or a mink-like animal. I accessorized with a black beaded necklace set off by crystals and gold-like round things that I found at the bottom of my jewelry box, and my black acrylic bracelet from high school. Even though it was getting colder by the minute, I completed the look with dressy, black, open-toed sandals from Timberland to show off my pedicure.

Saturday, April 27
Sick in bed.

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The NeatDesk Scanner Wins My Battle Over Paper…and my Heart

13 Saturday Apr 2013

Posted by themidlifesecondwife in Product Reviews

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

consumer reviews, home offices, NeatDesk, organizing, product reviews, scanners, Viewpoints

MessyDeskRock-paper-scissors.

I have all three in my office—rocks gathered from different hikes in Northeast Ohio, a beautiful pair of scissors that I inherited from one of my favorite uncles, and paper. Piles and piles of paper. In my office, in my life, paper has always been the winner, hands down, a fact made abundantly clear when I began organizing my office in January for our move from Virginia to Ohio. Just take a look at this photo. See what I mean?

And so it was that I embraced the opportunity to review the NeatDesk Desktop Scanner as a member of Viewpoints Blogger Review Panel. The timing could not have been more optimal: Not only did I have to purge what seemed like tons of paper files, separating the wheat from the chaff (and here I must give a shout-out to my trusty Fellowes paper shredder), I also realized that many documents moldering away in buff-colored three-tab files were in need of digitizing. Moreover, my husband and I were in the process of purchasing a new home in a western suburb of Cleveland. Our lender, several states away in Minnesota, needed about a zillion documents from us, verifying everything about us, from our identities to our net worth to our hopes and dreams. (Ah, for the old days of corner neighborhood banks. But that’s another post.) Of course everything that our lender required must be sent via secure email. Of course none of what he needed was e-mailable.

One particular item that our kind but gently insistent broker insisted upon was a profit-loss statement for my business. For that I would need a bookkeeper (up to this point I’d been muddling through with my cockamamie system). But a bookkeeper would need access to an entire year’s worth of receipts. Of course the bookkeeper I selected was in Ohio. I was in Virginia. Her location would be convenient for future fiscal years; for the one at hand, not so much.

No, I needed a dependable scanner. I had a scanner, mind you, but it was a dinosaur, part of the bulky copier that once belonged to husband. You might be familiar with the process: place the document face down on the screen, open up your computer’s scanning program, hit overview, wait, hit scan, do it all over again because you forgot to switch modes from JPEG to PDF…As a nice finishing touch, the scanner I used accented each document with a rugged black vertical line somewhat right of center.

Readers, I was in dire need of scanner relief.

And so the NeatDesk Scanner, which filled me with such joy upon its arrival that I marked the occasion photographically:

ScannerArrivalNeatDeskBoxI found the software easy to install (I used the version for the Mac—PC versions are also available—but I’ve subsequently learned that those using a MacBook Air rather than a MacBook Pro had considerable difficulty in that the MacBook Air lacks a CD-Rom drive, essential for installing the NeatWorks for Mac software.) You can read the reviews of my colleagues on the Viewpoints Blogger Review panel here, and learn what a NeatDesk spokesperson had to say for those using Netbooks.

You might also want to take a look at our Viewpoints video on YouTube, featuring our opinions about the NeatDesk scanner.

I should note that when I  first used the scanner, I ran into a spot of trouble. I called Tech Support and the person I spoke with could not have been more helpful and patient. For someone such as myself, who knows enough about technology (and I actually think I know a fair amount) to be dangerous, clarity, patience, and successful results from Tech Support is critically important.

One final caveat: In addition to being sent the scanner, which I do plan on keeping (thank you, Viewpoints!), we were all given a 30-day free trial of Neat’s Cloud service. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always been leery of the Cloud. I have an Apple Time Machine that backs up my computer, so losing files isn’t a concern. I don’t consider my modest operations so critical as to warrant information access across all my devices (iPhone, iPad, laptop). At $14.95 per month (I kept the Cloud service for two months), I just couldn’t justify the cost and so I canceled the service.

Now to what I simply adore about the NeatDesk scanner: how swiftly it turns paper into PDFs. I run a document through the scanner, and it shows up on the Table Pane in the NeatWorks software. All I have to do is drag the scanned document to my desktop and voilà! Instant PDF! Although the scanner populates information from a receipt intuitively, it doesn’t always do so accurately. Like any task involving the transmission of information, one must check one’s work and the work of anyone (or anything) done on your behalf. I did not find this a negative; it took me a nanosecond to enter the correct information. I also found that selecting the “document” mode rather than the “receipt” mode eliminated the problem, and also empowered me to enter information the way I wanted.

Take a look at my desk’s “After” picture. Not only did the NeatDesk scanner help me to eliminate the visual clutter threatening to clutter my mind, it allowed me to zip through the myriad requests of our lender in record time. And now, for the first time, I have a proper profit-loss statement for my business. A task I had been dreading was actually fun—the sense of accomplishment gained by scanning all of those receipts and shuttling them off to my bookkeeper was almost as gratifying as putting the finishing touches on an essay!

NeatDesk

Now you might say that I was primed to love the NeatDesk scanner, having needed it so desperately. You might say that I would turn a blind eye to any faults. And to a certain extent that’s probably true, despite the aforementioned caveats. My approach to any new technology claiming to help me gain efficiencies is this: I learn what I must learn in order to accomplish what I need, and that is all, until I need to learn more. I downloaded the User’s Guide for the scanner and it’s there for me when I’m ready to tackle more complicated problems. Some have said, upon digging deeper, that the scanner itself is complicated to use. That might be, but I did not find it to be the case. I’m sure that the NeatDesk scanner is capable of far more than my current demands, but to take me from the first photo to what you see above was, in my view, an Olympian accomplishment worthy of my highest rating: five gold rings.


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